Tearing Apart the Soul: Part 4
A Public Exposure of the Liberal, Feminist Teachings of Dr. Steven Tracy through “Mending the Soul” and Phoenix Seminary
and His Secretive, Coercive Attack Upon My Family
by Dr. Maynard C. Mostrom, Jr.
B.A., M.Div., S.T.M., D.Min., Ph.D. Studies
Part 4: Lies and Legal Persecution Against My Life
and Biblical Christianity
“I have known Maynard Mostrom for nearly 30 years…The accusations of significant domestic abuse are not consistent with my observations…nor have the numerous conversations that we have shared ..revealed to me
any kind of threatening or hostile environment.”
(Pastor Dante Antonucci, letter dated January 5, 2011
and read before the judge)
“In terms of Dr. Mostrom’s relationships with his children,
he has ‘never seen unloving interactions’…
Dr. Mostrom has a ‘normal father-daughter relationship.”
(Dr. John Scialli, relating his interview with my brother, Matt Mostrom,
in his state ordered psychiatric exam concerning my mental health.)
“And she (Jezebel) wrote letters…and sent the letters to the elders and the nobles who were dwelling in the city with Naboth. She wrote, Proclaim a fast and seat Naboth with high honor…and seat two men, scoundrels, before him to bear witness against him, saying, ‘You have blasphemed God and the king.’ Then take him out, and stone him, that he may die.”
(1 kings 21:8-10; Queen Jezebel wanted Naboth’s vineyard, therefore she intentionally set forth a deceptive, legal process to provide false witnesses to accuse Naboth, find him guilty, have him killed, removed, and take his possessions;
my wife has intentionally taken a similar path for a similar purpose!)
“To Kill a Mockingbird”: Gender Bias and Hatred for Truth
Blames the Innocent and Supports the Guilty
In the story “To Kill a Mockingbird,” one of the most famous novels and movies in American history, a black man named Tom Robinson is falsely accused of raping a white woman. As the story progresses through the courtroom of life and the civil court, Tom’s lawyer, Atticus Finch, proves that Tom Robinson is innocent and that the woman in question is lying and was actually abused by her father. One would think that the evidence presenting Tom’s innocence and the woman’s lies would be seen and acknowledged by all observers. Yet we see that, in spite of the clear evidence of Tom Robinson’s innocence, the stereotypes and biases against “race” were so strong that they blinded most of the townsfolk and the judge, who pronounced Tom “guilty.” Shortly after the verdict, Tom Robinson was shot and killed while supposedly trying to escape. In the meantime, the woman’s father comes after Atticus’ children and is killed by their mysterious friend, Boo Radley.
The greatness of “To Kill a Mockingbird” centers around the defense lawyer, Atticus Finch, and his 2 children. His moral courage and integrity is shown and taught to his children and to the townsfolk by his actions to uncover the truth and stand up against the biases that cloud people’s judgments. He is a hero (he is listed as the #1 hero in film history) because he is willing to stand up for the truth and for an innocent man, regardless of his color. And when his client is unjustly sentenced and killed, we see his righteous anger and his determination to see true justice and to teach this valuable moral lesson to his children.
In my family situation, I have been found by the judge to be an abusive husband and domestic threat not only to my wife but also to my children. However, this judgment is not based upon the facts and the truth, but upon the stereotypes and biases against men, my wife’s lies, and upon the manipulative tricks of my wife’s lawyer, who is the anti type of Atticus Finch. In this case the bias that blinds true justice is not race but gender.
The fact is: It was not I who abused my wife, but her father. Through her distorted thinking as influenced by her counselor, Mrs. Celestia Tracy, my wife is lying and willing to destroy our marriage, our family, and my life with her lies. Unwilling to face the truth of her past abuse as a child and her own abusiveness as an adult and wife, my wife will not submit to open discussions or meetings, nor to the Bible and biblical authorities because she wants her story to be true, no matter what the truth really is and what the cost is to others.
My Wife’s False Accusations Against Me:
Serious Domestic Violence and Abuse
“Your son is an abuser with deeply engrained sinful behavior patterns and distorted thought processes and is in need of serious proper help in order to avoid long-term temporal and eternal consequences.”
(My wife’s email to my mother, Friday, May 7, 2010; my wife’s idea of “serious proper help”
is to follow humanistic psychology and not biblical theology)
“In terms of getting ‘concrete proof,’ I guess you will never have it in the traditional sense other than some sporadic journal excerpts and my testimony.”
(My wife, in answer to my mother about proofs for my supposed abusive behavior, in an email exchange, May 2010; notice my wife admits that apart from her own statements, there is no evidence, no eyewitnesses, and no proof that I am an abusive husband.
She admits that concrete proof will never be found.
It will not be found because it does not exist.)
Over the past several years, my wife has made serious accusations of abuse against me. She has claimed that her accusations are true and thus justify her extreme actions. In contrast to my wife’s perspective, I have emphatically denied her allegations and her interpretations. In fact, I have claimed that her accusations of abuse against me are actually a part of her ongoing plan to continue to sin against me, abuse me, and control my life and my family. Here are some of the ways she has used her allegations of abuse against me since her separation.
To Justify Separation and Kidnapping
When I came home on Friday afternoon, June 19, 2009, I found half of my home furniture gone and my wife’s separation letter on the counter. As I read the letter, I found that most of the reasons why my wife said she left referred to her accusations of “abuse” against me. Although I had heard her use this word a few times in our marriage, this was the first time that she had provided any sort of list with explanations.
To Keep Me From Contacting Her or My Children
In addition to her accusations as the primary reason for leaving me, she also used them as a means to threaten me if I did not do everything that she wanted (and she says that I am controlling!). She threatened to file charges with the police if I approached her or our 2 daughters (whom she “kidnapped” with her counselors’ approval).
To Keep Me From Approaching Her Church and Her Pastors
When I attempted to contact my wife by phone and through others, she filed an “Order of Protection” against me in January 2010. Without any proof of her accusations, the court granted her request to ban me from directly contacting her or visiting her home (which I had no intention of visiting), her work, and her church. She listed my attempts to contact her pastors (in which I was following the Bible) as one of my abusive actions.
To Legally Take Away My Children
For the court and 2 judges, my wife filled out a “Danger Assessment” and supplied various documents to try and show that I was a serious and violent abuser that was potentially capable of killing her. This image that she and her lawyer created for the court provided a sufficient impression for the judges to award her sole custody of our children and a substantial garnishment of my wages. This judgment occurred even though there were no specific allegations ever proved.
To Destroy My Financial Status
The combination of my wife’s financial mishandling of our finances before the separation, her theft of most of our possessions and assets with her separation, the additional expenditures that I had to take care of my expenses, the additional expenses of legal fees, and garnished wages, have financially destroyed my credit. I have been in survival mode for the past 4 years, working 2 jobs, 6-7 days a week just to get by.
To Seriously Damage My Career in Christian Ministry
With the abandonment of my wife, serious financial pressures, my wife’s use of my library as a tool to manipulate a settlement (see later in article), and the necessity of my staying in the area to be near my children, my career in Christian ministry has, at the very least, been put on hold. I am unable to pursue a pastorate in a conservative church until my marital situation has been settled. Even then, many churches will not hire divorced or remarried men.
My wife’s abuse allegations can be broadly placed into 2 categories: Verbal and Physical
My Wife’s Various Accusations of Abuse: Verbal Debate and Emotional Trauma
In order to demonstrate my wife’s all inclusive definition of abuse (basically anything that “hurts” her feelings), I have listed many of her specific charges of “abuse” that are far outside of the traditional definition. In contrast to my wife’s views and interpretations on this list, most of these items listed and are in fact direct, biblical actions intended to honor God and help my wife.
Her list includes: threatening that she would “lose control,” calling her pastors, wanting to talk to Mrs. Tracy, calling her step mom and falsely claiming she was depressed/suicidal, trying to find her address from my step mom and others, demanding that she meet with me, looking for critiques and criticisms of Mending the Soul, calling Celestia’s office and believing that she should talk to me because I am her husband.
Some additional listings of “abuse” are: unwillingness to give her any type of verbal affirmation, saying that she does not share what is going on in her counseling, shunning and silence, and insisting that she see a “nouthetic” counselor with me, so that I can manipulate the discussions. She even listed my buying coffee from Starbucks as an abuse toward her.
My Wife’s “Serious” Accusations of Abuse: Physical Violence and Rape
“physical abuse included punching, slapping, kicking, busted lip, hair pulling, chocking, and knocking to the ground…on average 3 to 4 times a year.”
(From my wife’s “Order of Proctection,” January 25, 2010, p 2; this quote is taken from the page that was missing when I was served the document. I had to go to the courthouse in downtown Phoenix to get the missing information.)
“Do not receive an accusation against an elder
except from two or three witnesses
(1 Timothy 5:19: the Apostle Paul quotes from Deuteronomy 17:6 to highlight an important truth that carries over from Israel to the Christian Church-biblical investigation and corroboration (agreement among many) is necessary before any judgment is made on a Christian, especially a Christian leader. My wife, the Tracys, and New Valley Church have intentionally and repeatedly violated this truth )
My wife has given the above list of “serious” abuse accusations, in one form or another, to Mrs. Tracy and to the elders of her church, New Valley Church in Phoenix. She also gave me this list, for the first time, in her separation letter of 2009. Legally, my wife has also given the list in her Order of Protection, Danger Assessment, and in an interview with a state-ordered psychologist. It is this particular list of physical and sexual abuses that stands at the center of my wife’s accusations. If my wife’s accusations are true as she explains them, then I would be an abusive husband. Is there an alternative interpretation that is true to the facts and can properly explain this list so I am not an abuser? There is.
As a precondition to meeting with the elders of New Valley Church in May 2010, they sent me an email with a similar list which they said came from my wife. At the meeting, their only focus was to hear about my responses to my wife’s most serious charges of physical and sexual abuse. I attempted to explain in simple language that my wife’s list and her interpretation of the list was not just mistaken, but substantially contrary to the facts. As I proceeded to give specific explanations for each of my wife’s charges, the elders interrupted me repeatedly and said they didn’t believe me. They thought that I was just trying to justify myself and explain away my “serious abuse” of my wife. After the meeting, they refused to talk to me again; they were not interested in hearing my story. They told me, without interviewing me properly according to Matthew 18, that they still believed my wife and did not believe me.
Since my meeting with my wife’s elders in May 2010, I have had several opportunities to tell my side of the story to various Christian leaders and to other people who were willing to listen. Listed below is a summary of my story concerning my wife’s serious charges of abuse.
The Facts About My Wife’s “Serious” Abuse List
#1 My Life Testimony Has No Record of Abusive Behavior
Over the years, people have disagreed with me over certain issues, most of which concern matters central to the identity and health of the Christian faith. However, I have no record of physical or sexual abuse from family members, friends, employers, fellow employees, and the community. I have no police record; there has never been a police call out to my house or person and there are no eyewitnesses to back up my wife’s story.
#2 I Have Never Violently Attacked My Wife
I have never punched my wife; I have never thrown her around a room; I have never thrown anything at her. I have never chocked my wife; nor did I ever violently pull her hair. The few occurrences of physical contact over the past 25 years that relate to my wife’s list will be explained in a following point as rare and minor actions of self-defense.
#3 I Have Never “Raped” My Wife
Apart from the question as to whether it is biblically possible for a husband to “rape” his wife (in these cases, if she was “not in the mood” his persistence or coercion could be labeled at least as selfish, unkind, and even sinful), there is the question as to whether my wife was ever “forced” to have sex. The answer is no; I have never had sex with my wife when she clearly indicated (verbally or otherwise) that she did not want to.
I have rebuked my wife for using sex as a tool to control me and I have been persistent at times to pursue our physical relationship (usually after weeks or months of no talking or physical contact), yet I never forced my wife. In every instance, when my wife refused advances from me (which were hundreds of times, often with yelling and hitting), every time it was clear that she did not want sex (either by body language or speech), I left her alone. As a matter of fact, this happened so many times that during the last few years of our marriage, I would not initiate physical contact with her (I was tired of being verbally and physically beaten up). I told her she would need to initiate and be clear about her intentions (which she rarely was).
Yet this also raises the question: Wouldn’t it be obvious if someone was being “raped?” How could my wife be mistaken about her own participation or lack thereof in our physical relationship? The answer is this: For a wife that was not sexually abused before her marriage, this would usually not be a problem; however, for a wife who was sexually abused by her father during her childhood, our physical relationship was always filled with tension and confusion for her. In effect, even if my wife consented to sex, if she didn’t feel loved, she felt “raped,” even if she did not verbally express this to me at the time or to others later. In fact, most of the time during our marriage, I felt conflicted about even pursuing a physical relationship with my wife because this act, which is designed to develop or exhibit intimacy, almost always created the opposite effect for my wife.
#4 What Really Occurred: I Mildly Defended Myself from My Wife’s Verbally Aggressive and Physically Abusive Actions
Chronology of Events
During our marriage, my wife claims that serious abuse occurred approximately 3-4 times a year. She is trying to create an image of a husband who regularly beats her and obsessively controls her life. This is not true; it is not true according to the Bible, nor to the facts of our relationship.
Listed below is a typical chronology of events that occurred in cycles on a regular basis in our marriage.
My wife is obsessively controlling and won’t follow the Bible nor my leadership
My wife would be habitually sinful and rebellious (involving lying, deceit, and other sins)
I would kindly try to talk to my wife; she would ignore me or pretend to listen
My wife would continue her selfish and destructive behavior
Repeatedly, I would try to patiently talk to her and work things out
My wife would continue to do things the way she wanted, against the Bible and me.
At this point, due to the seriousness and urgency of the matter, I would need to talk to my wife and see that she respond biblically and constructively. When she still refused to act biblically and responsibly, a significant argument would occur.
Verbal Arguments: 3-4 times a year; necessary to confront my wife’s habitual sin and her constant attempts to obsessively control my life and our family
Most of the time, our verbal arguments proceeded and ended with my wife’s evasive and deceptive words and my responses with Scripture verses and truths to try and show her that what she was doing was sinful and destructive to our relationship and our family. At this point, my wife would sometimes get mildly abusive; when this occurred I usually stopped the argument and left her presence and sometimes I left the house so that she would calm down and become rational again.
Physical Contact: about 5 times total in our marriage
On a handful of rare situations (about 5 in all), my wife’s abusiveness and sin was so strong and aggressive that it was necessary to defend myself long enough to get away from her. In these situations, I used a mild, single action (slaps and 1 hit to arm-she nearly dislocated my elbow) to get away from my wife’s abusive behavior (self defense). In these instances and others where my wife’s behavior was irrational and out of control, I left my wife’s presence and often left the house, with her running after me yelling and screaming. During these rare occasions of physical contact and at other times throughout our marriage, I did not have malicious intent; nor did I beat my wife or lose control.
#5 Why My Wife, Her Counselor, and Her Church Elders Refuse to Accept the Truth
First, their humanistic, psychological view of marital relationships and life will not allow them to accept a different interpretation. Second, they are not interested in the facts and the truth, but rather in control, power, and revenge toward those they perceive are at fault (this is why many of the people who hold to their views have themselves been abused in the past). Third, to admit serious mistakes or sins would jeopardize their employment and paychecks. People will do many things to avoid loss of income, power, and reputation.
The primary accusations of serious domestic violence and abuse against me by my wife are false; my wife made her charges (with the assistance of a couple of secular counselors and secular books) against me to the Tracys. They in turn, proceeded in direct violation of the Bible, the facts, and the necessary process of investigation, to instruct my wife to continue to violate the Bible and continue to refuse to listen to myself or to any one (such as my parents, family members, friends, and pastors) who told her otherwise. The results of my wife’s selfish and obsessive behavior and her counselor’s irresponsible and slanderous actions have put into motion an ungodly and destructive process that should have never occurred.
Why Do My Wife (Ex-Wife) and I Have Such Different Perspectives!
“there is a way that seems right to a man (or woman),
but its end is the way of death (destruction).”
“Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual.”
(1 Corinthians 2:12-13; the truths about reality (marital and otherwise) are given by God the Holy Spirit in His Word (the Bible). Those who follow man’s wisdom (which includes humanistic psychology) are against God and give false views of life and its problems)
“she made some mistakes; you made some mistakes; both of you are at fault.”
(a Phoenix area pastor gave me this statement without any investigation into the matter; he simply made an assumption, and refused to address the facts which would change his answer. His answer was liberal and stereotypical and reflects the other side of the psychological coin, ‘I’m ok, you’re ok, we’re all ok.’ As such, he was saying, ‘I’m to blame, you’re to blame, we’re all to blame. This attitude is an ungodly excuse to intentionally avoid making a true biblical and moral evaluation and
refusing then to assign any specific blame based upon the Bible and the facts.)
Throughout our marriage of 25 years and my wife’s separation, my wife and I have had very distinct perspectives on the other person’s actions. After attending counseling sessions with at least 2 “secular” counselors, she has now come out to say that I am a seriously abusive husband and she is the innocent victim (for the most part). In contrast, I still maintain and teach what the Bible and the facts say; she is habitually sinful and abusive and I am not. How can these completely different views be sorted out?
Some people would say that this is just a way of expressing that both of us are sinful and rebellious, while neither of us is willing to admit our abusive part. This is a standard, stereotypical answer that I have heard from several people. The main problem with this type of assessment (both are guilty-”it takes 2 to tango”) is twofold; first, this view is a stereotype and does not reflect a knowledge and moral evaluation of our actions. Second, with this type of statement, there is no standard given by which to evaluate “right” and “wrong” actions.
A true investigation of the facts and a moral assessment of these facts demonstrates that my wife and I cannot both be fundamentally correct. Our stories are too different and our interpretations of the same events are antithetical to each other. In regard to the basic premises of our beliefs, one of us is essentially correct and the other is not. Listed below are 3 primary reasons why my perspective is basically correct (because it is biblical and true to the facts) and my wife’s is fundamentally flawed and false.
State of Mind: Mental and Emotional Imbalance
vs. Biblical and Rational Christianity.
“Suddenly the partner who was embraced as the savior, the perfect parent who rescued her from all her troubles, is attacked for selfishness, impositions, neglects, and abuses. These seemingly irrational responses cause great confusion and disruption…The fragile incest survivor may experience any assertion of the pro-survivor’s needs as violation, demand, or abuse, even where none was intended or exhibited.” (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and
Its Aftereffects in Women, p 257)
“I realize that the trauma and impact of the abuse of my dad resulted in behaviors (e.g., fear, anxiety, hiding, disassociation, numbing, hypervigilence, emotional sensitivity, triggering, flashbacks, etc.) on my part were mystifying and confusing to both of us. Instead of helping me work through these issues, you added to that trauma by beginning demeaning and hurtful behaviors…your objective was to control and maintain superiority over me, and use whatever tactics you deemed appropriate.”
(my wife’s separation letter, June 19, 2009, p 2; Notice 3 points in comment; first, my wife admits to bringing problems (she uses psychological descriptions instead of biblical ones) into our marriage that relate to her childhood. Second, she denies that my biblical behavior toward her as my wife was helpful, not because it failed to follow the Bible but because she had added trauma (her trauma, by the way, is her creation and is directly related to her unwillingness to address her sinful behavior and her guilty conscience). Third, my wife attributes to me a selfish and unethical approach to our relationship. Her faulty perspective comes from following her feelings and her humanist counselors and not from the
Bible and the facts.)
My wife alleges that I have displayed a long history of “significant” domestic abuse toward her during our marriage. These charges are false and come from my wife’s traumatized mind and distorted perspective on life and the nature of our relationship. Due to her father’s “significant” domestic abuse against her during her childhood, her inability to cope with her childhood abuse throughout her life, and the recent unbiblical and irresponsible counseling that she has received, my wife has “significantly” lost touch with the reality of our relationship and now views me completely in her father’s abusive image.
Contrary to being the abuser in our marriage, I have been the abuse victim. My wife has been habitually sinful, rebellious, and abusive toward me throughout our marriage and has increased her abusive and obsessively controlling behavior during her time of counseling with Mrs. Celestia Tracy at “Mending the Soul.”
“My family is also a victim of Celestia Tracy…I pray that He will disband the Tracys and their influence in so many churches…Celestia (got between) my husband and myself.
I came in as his best friend, and left as his most hated enemy…There is something
very evil at the heart of this as it has taken over my husband’s mind.”
(Email sent to me, April 14, 2012-name kept anonymous)
My wife’s continued path of mental deterioration, paranoid isolation, and her ongoing destruction of our marriage and family demonstrate that she is in need of serious biblical and medical intervention and help. Since she has refused to get this type of help in her current situation, I have taken numerous “biblical” steps to facilitate a factual process of accountability and change. Though my wife views most of these actions of communication as abusive, they are, in spite of some occasional verbal and emotional excess, the loving actions of a biblical husband and father who believes that biblical and legal intervention is necessary to deliver his wife and his children from an unbiblical, isolated, and harmful path.
Stages of Mental and Marital Deterioration in My Wife’s Life
Traumatized by abuse from her father as a child-obviously not her fault
Unwilling to biblically deal with her sinful adult problems related to childhood and life
Traumatized again by secular counselors having her “relive” her abuse
More sinful and abusive behavior by my wife in response to these counselors
Further deterioration of our marriage relationship-now to divorce
“At the same time…He (God) increasingly seemed as contradictory and scary to me as my abusers- occasionally loving but also frequently explosive, self-absorbed, harsh, insensitive, unpredictable, neglectful, vindictive, and callous. Never satisfied with my efforts and routinely looking for any minor infraction in order to justify ‘punishment,’
I could not trust Him (God), let alone please Him (God).”
(My wife’s article, “Thoughts on the Concepts of ‘Devotions’ Versus ‘Soul Care,’ p 2; my wife admits that she did not trust the God of the Bible in the past; unfortunately, she continues to reject the God of the Bible and has developed a “spiritual” relationship
with a “god” of her own making!)
“Throughout these proceedings, the Petitioner (Maynard) has made statements that he believes his children were “kidnapped” by the Respondent…It is unclear if the Petitioner “believed” his own statements or has trouble with the truth to the extent that he would purposefully attempt to mislead the court…Either explanation is problematic in considering the Petitioner’s thought processes…He may be suffering from thought disorders or beliefs that border on either delusion or severe narcissism.”
(My wife’s Motion for Psychiatric Evaluation of the Petitioner, p 4; my wife is so far from reality, she believes that she is fine and I am mentally ill. I am a trained biblical theologian who has saturated his mind and thoughts with the Bible for over 30 years of education and ministry. I hold to the historic confessions of faith of the Christian Church and have numerous Christian leaders and others that can attest to my biblical thought processes! My wife, on the other hand, has a background of abuse, refuses to discuss her beliefs in public, and holds to a humanistic bias against biblical Christianity.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction…they would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke. Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way.”
(Proverbs 1:7, 30-31)
My wife has not gotten better with her counseling with Mrs. Tracy, but rather much worse. Part of the evidence of this is the fact that my wife, in spite of numerous proofs against her views, still believes that she is getting better and refuses to listen to anyone who says otherwise. My wife (now ex-wife) has deteriorated so far that she has not spoken a word to me in over 4 years. During this time, we had a “silver anniversary” (25 years) on May 31, 2011; no words were spoken; no cards exchanged; it was a non-event!
Definitions: Psychological and Feelings Based
vs Biblical and Traditional Christianity
“I have simply chosen the word abuser as a shorthand way of saying
“men who chronically make their partners feel mistreated or devalued.”
(Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That, xviii;
this is a liberal book that Mrs. Tracy recommended to my wife)
“In marriage, abuse is the threat or use of force to control someone who should instead be treated with love and esteem.”
(my wife’s definition, given in her separation letter, June 19, 2009)
“Does he control most or all of your daily activities? For instance: does he tell you who you can be friends with, when you can see your family, how much money you can use, or when you can take the car? (My wife answered, “Yes”)
(My wife’s “Danger Assessment” of me, made in 2009; my wife’s answer is an outright lie. I did not dictate any of these items; my wife had her own car, her own job, did not have any type of “allowance” and saw her family and friends whenever she wanted.)
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church…one who rules his own house well…I do not permit a woman to teach or have authority over a man…But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”
(Ephesians 5:22-23; 1 Timothy 2:12, 3:4a; Joshua 24:15b; the Bible clearly teaches that the husband and father is the head of his house and his family; it is a serious sin to deny this basic truth of family life and it is rebellion to challenge it)
Once recognized by most people to refer to obvious physical and sexual acts of coercive harm against another, the word “abuse” has now been expanded by many psychologists and liberals to include nearly everything from incest and rape to raising one’s voice, making negative comments, or simply “hurting” someone’s feelings. To cloud things further, the word and its associations has been increasingly individualized and emotionally defined. It is also increasing used as a tool of manipulation with strong gender overtones.
Biblically and traditionally, abuse has been defined as an observable action of harm committed by anyone that violates the laws of God as stated in the Bible and reflected in traditional civil law; now abuse is increasing viewed as an emotional response that someone (almost always female) chooses to have in response to a situation involving male behavior.
The primary problem with contemporary definitions of abuse comes from its removal form a biblical and time-honored legal context into a psychological, individual, and emotional context. In such a context, feelings and appearances tend to override the truth as assumptions are made without true biblical and objective processes in place.
“He (Dr. Steven Tracy) also said that when a woman says that her husband beats her or verbally abuses her that they believe her…no matter what he says.”
(Email by Darrell Gustafson, Associate Pastor of Grace Covenant Church, Gilbert, Arizona, January 22, 2013; Pastor Gustafson had an interview with Dr. Tracy and relayed the details of his conversation; I have also read several similar statements; if the wife says her husband “abused” her, the Tracys simply believe her; they intentionally do not not get the couple together; they intentionally will not interview or hear the husband’s side of the story. In effect, they intentionally refuse to investigate the truth and move forward to slander the marriage partner that is not present and teach the one that is present how to tear apart their marriage!)
My wife and I differ in our interpretations of our marriage and the conduct of the other party because I am using the Bible as the primary and supreme tool to define conduct and she is not. She is using a different authority (humanistic psychology) and a different process that is individually, emotionally, and traumatically driven. As a result, her beliefs and conclusions are false and substantially inaccurate in her specific charges.
“Preach the Word (the Bible)…For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they (these false teachers) will turn their ears away from the truth.”
(2Timothy 4:2a, 3-4a; this is what my wife has done.
According to her selfish desires, she has sought out teachers who will tell her
what she wants to hear, and not what she needs to hear)
Spiritual Worldviews: Worldly and Postmodern
vs. Biblical and Historical Christianity
“Now the Spirit expressly says that in the latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron.”
(1 Timothy 4:1-2)
“She (Serene, my wife’s “secular” counselor before Celestia) kept telling me
that the relationship is abusive, a term I didn’t want to use.”
(My wife’s journal, May 9, 2002; My wife refused to listen to me and refused to go to a biblical counselor; instead, unknown to me, she went to a secular counselor who had no respect for the Bible. My wife was taught to label my life and behavior as a Christian minister and husband as abusive by her secular counselor. Both of my wife’s “secular” counselors, Serene and Celestia, labeled me as abusive, even though neither ever interviewed me, attempted to interview me, or would allow me to give them my story. Such is the slander of cowardly and ungodly counselors who hide behind laws of privacy and proceed to attack and destroy marriages without the other party being present or even being aware of what they are doing!)
“Respondent’s (my wife) allegations are not consistent with what is known and observed by friends and family…Not only have they never observed anything in Petitioner’s behavior that would cause them concern as to the nature of Respondent’s allegations; Respondent has never herself raised any such serious concerns either.”
(Petitioner’s (Maynard) Motion for Temporary Orders, p 4; In over 20 years of marriage, my wife never made any allegations of abuse against me, yet, since her counseling with Mrs. Tracy and the retelling of her father’s abuse, she has come out to say that
I am a long term, serious, and violent abuser.
No one else, including our children, has ever made such accusations against me)
Ultimately, the fundamental difference between my wife and I is our worldviews. My wife, while professing to hold to a Christian worldview, has in fact, departed significantly from a biblical worldview while I continue to hold the same biblical worldview that I have believed since I was a child. I hold to the biblical views of historic Christianity, including its views concerning gender relationships and marriage. Further, I can prove my views from the Bible and prove at the same time, that my wife is a hypocrite and a reprobate. She uses Christianity to hide her selfish and postmodern views on life.
As a Christian man, husband, father, and minister, when I insist on following the Bible to honor God and help my wife, I am not inherently selfish, proud, narcissistic, malicious, or unloving because I do so. In fact, I would argue the very opposite. The Christian who is tenacious about following the Bible (from the heart and in outward actions) is filled with the Spirit and has spiritual character, while people, such as my wife, are not honoring God and have a true absence of integrity when they follow after the wisdom of the world and stubbornly refuse to follow the Bible.
Husbands Can Be “Abuse” Victims Too
“Liberation psychotherapy has been born…At the center stands the belief that others are the threat to our own reality…Even one’s deepest commitments, such as to one’s spouse, children, friends, and faith…all become matters of negotiation.”
(David Wells, Losing Our Virtue, p 126)
The stereotype seems to be this: if a wife claims that her husband is “abusive,” he is judged as an abuser and the worst of abusers and is not allowed to demonstrate otherwise. However, if a husband claims that his wife is abusive, people just look at him and think he is either weak or lying.
If I have not abused my wife (I am not saying I didn’t ever sin against her), then what has really happened and what is still happening to this day? The answer is this: my wife is living out a delusional vendetta against me for the trauma that she experiences from her past abuse from her father and her present unwillingness and inability to cope with her life. In short, my wife has been and continues to rebel against God and against me when I present God’s Word to her and to others. She hates the one true God and is taking it out on me!
These hateful and destructive actions from my wife have taken form over the years in a progression of actions and responses that she has taken to move further from God, His Word (the Bible), and from me, her past husband.
Habitual Sin and Intentional Rebellion: The Continual Breaking of God’s Laws
“Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness…For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments”
(1 John 3:4, 5:3a; the laws of God provided in His Word (the Bible) provide the basis for spiritual and moral evaluation of all actions)
My wife’s secular counselor tells her that she is in an abusive relationship. It is interesting to note that during this time her list of abuses are verbal and emotional-she has always refused to listen to criticisms from myself or others. She tries to make me out as a person who is always yelling; ask my children and others-this is not the case; virtually the only times I have raised my voice to my wife has been when she is in habitual rebellion, doing her own thing against my wishes, deceitfully and behind my back. Then when she gets caught for her lies, she feels mistreated and “abused” if she hears negative words about her behavior.
(My comments on my wife’s journal in “A Response to My Wife’s Accusations of Abuse, p 6)
“Rebellion against a husband is a terrible sin before God yet she has excuse after excuse why she can do as she pleases, avoid criticism of such, and then blame the tensions and problems in our marriage on me for not doing what she wants.”
(My article, “The Takeover of a Man’s Family, p 5)
When we were married in 1986, my wife gave all appearances that she wanted to follow me as I followed the Bible for life, family, and career. As time went on and the pressures of life came upon us, I found that my wife made more and more choices that were contrary to the Bible and against my wishes as her husband. I also found that she would hide these choices and refuse to deal with them when mentioned. I learned over time that my wife was reluctantly conforming to our Christian worldview but inwardly rebelling against it and increasingly bold in displaying her rebellion toward me and others.
I worked hard through the years to be patient and encouraging to my wife. I hoped that she would see the value of biblical Christianity and her role as my wife in Christian ministry. Yet she repeatedly refused to follow many of the teachings of the Bible and my leadership; her rebellion then created tension in our relationship because she was taking our marriage, family, and my career in a direction that was in many ways contrary to where it should be.
Being in a difficult position, I was required by God to direct my family according to the Bible. When my wife refused to follow the Bible, I was obligated to address her actions accordingly. When I verbally addressed my wife’s sins and rebellion (intentional and repeated sins), her anger increased and she sought ways to get further control of me and our marriage.
Domestic Mistreatment and Abuse of Me, Her Husband
Over the years, my wife became increasing obsessed with controlling me and our family. If she did not have total control of a situation outside the home, she would simply avoid it, if possible. As for home life, my wife would pretend to follow my leadership; then behind my back, she would do her own thing until I discovered it.
When I did discover her lies and selfish actions, and pointed them out to her, she would get verbally and physically aggressive and abusive if I or someone else questioned her, differed with her, disagreed with her, or rebuked her for sinful actions. Over time, her actions have gotten worse and so have the consequences. Listed below is a brief description of her attempts to obsessively control my life.
My wife literally treated me like a child or a minor; I had no right to lead her and our family. I had no right to direct our home and our finances. In effect, my wife acted as though she was single and I was one of her children. She kept information from me and made the primary decisions as much as she could. If I disagreed with my wife or took action to lead our family, she would often become irrational and erratic in her behavior. She was often verbally and physically aggressive and unwilling to do things other than her way. I have been slapped, hit, shoved by my wife dozens of times; some of these times during arguments and most when talking about or participating in our physical relationship. When I mentioned these things to her later, she either denied them, blamed them all on me, or said she didn’t remember!
As an example of my wife’s selfishness, when I had serious back problems during 2002-2003, I was in great pain and unable to work for periods of time. During this time, my wife yelled and screamed at me, told me it was all in my head, refused to take me to the doctor, and refused to help me with various tasks. I realized at that time that my wife was not there for me and would not be by my side in crisis. Knowing her selfishness and lack of love for me, I knew that if things got tough, she would either check out on me or leave me. Both options sadly occurred.
Before her separation, my wife obsessively controlled our checkbook. When I took action to take control back and direct our finances (which she severely mishandled), she opposed me and did whatever she wanted. She spend money on selfish things (new items for instance) and then blamed me for spending money on tools for ministry (schooling, books, etc.) She paid off her school loan while deferring mine; she had the nice car while I drove an old car without air conditioning; and she built her pension while having my paychecks all in cash.
Since her separation, my wife has continued her control of our finances. Through her personal controlling action and that of the court, we lost our house; she has left me without a pension, with no savings; my credit is destroyed and I barely make enough money to get by from week to week. My wife doesn’t care. She wants everything she can get from me.
(In a future article, I will provide numerous specific examples of my wife’s sin, rebellion, and abuse toward God and me)
Chronology of Legal Activity and Decisions
“The wise woman builds her house. But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
My Wife Secretly and Deceptively Abandons Me and Our Son: June 19, 2009
My wife’s separation letter is a “feminist manifesto” accusing me of making her life miserable because she was not allowed to live exactly as she wanted, including her domination of my life, career, children, and finances. If I as a man and husband exercised the kind of control as my wife has used against me, I would be labeled as abusive, but she imposes her will upon mine, and controls our family and attempts to justify it upon her new found teachings from Celestia Tracy. She claims that her letter is an act of love; however, it is an act of hatred and cowardice.
My wife’s accusations do not come from the Bible, did not involve any biblical counseling with us together, and intentionally avoided the biblical process for dealing with these issues. Her accusations are seriously skewed by her mental instability, liberal feminist beliefs, and her obsessive desire for happiness through the control of others.
My wife left me and our son without warning and kidnapped my 2 daughters. She threatened me with charges of abuse if I attempted to go see the girls or her. She took my daughters away from me without any civil servants or spiritual leaders ever coming to see me. Of her own accord, without any biblical or civil support, my wife took control of our family and finances, took my daughters away to an undisclosed location and determined that I could not see them for any length of time, nor overnight, nor take them to church with me.
I Met Mrs. Celestia Tracy-She Lies About Me and I Call the Police: September 24, 2009
“you were aggressive and threatening and spouting odd and bizarre statements…or that calls the police out to our premises and makes untrue allegations…A copy of this correspondence will be forwarded to the Mesa Police Department.”
(Dr. Raymond Branton, Clinical Director of Professional Counseling Associates,
in an email to me, September 24, 2009; Dr. Branton makes claims about what I said, yet he was not there at the time; he is simply saying what Mrs. Tracy told him; Celestia Tracy created the situation after I politely asked to talk to her; she lied about me on the phone to my wife and to her boss; no one connected with the counseling center then nor since has been willing to discuss the matter; they just make assumptions and slander those who
are not allowed to speak for themselves behind their closed doors!)
A few months after my wife’s separation letter, I went to Professional Counseling Associates in Mesa, where Mrs. Tracy worked, to talk about payment of a session which my wife asked me to attend with another psychologist. While there, I met Mrs. Tracy; she was rude and unwilling to talk to me; when I attempted to explain that it was my wife’s father and not me who abused her, Mrs. Tracy became infuriated with me. She went into her office, called my wife, and put her into a panic by lying about my purpose and activity at her office.
Mrs. Tracy unnecessarily escalated the situation at her work, refused to talk to me in a professional and mature manner, made assumptions about me that are not true, and cast my wife and daughters into a panic mode. (I found out later that my wife immediately left work, took our girls out of school in the middle of the day, and “hid” at my brother’s house for a few days!). What did Mrs. Tracy tell my wife and what has my wife been saying about me to Mrs. Tracy? I have never been told.
When I went to the counseling lobby and called the police, the director of Professional Counseling Associates told me to leave the building and threatened me with arrest if I ever came back. When the officer came, I told him my story, to which he said he could not even go inside and talk to Mrs. Tracy unless a crime had been committed. When I told him that my wife had kidnapped my children, he said he couldn’t do anything and that I would need to get a lawyer.
My Wife Files an “Order of Protection”: January 2010
A couple of months after my encounter with Mrs. Celestia Tracy, I continued to try and talk with my wife and the parties involved, using both my own direct appeal and that of several Christian leaders and friends. With the ongoing refusal of my wife, the Tracys, and Phoenix Seminary to follow the basic teachings of the Bible on Christian communication in private, I told my wife and others that I would take the matter to her church elders and if necessary to the broader Christian world. My wife’s response, with the encouragement of Mrs. Tracy, was to have an Order of Protection served against me.
When I received the Order of Protection, it was missing 2 pages that explained the reasons for the Order. I had to go the Phoenix courthouse to get the missing information. On the 2 pages, my wife stated that I have been committing serious domestic abuse against her throughout the history of our marriage.
Since the Order of Protection, my wife has not voluntarily spoken one word to me in over 15 months. All of my communication with my wife since January 2010 has had to be through my wife’s lawyer and through our children. While the Order of Protection has lapsed as of January 2011 and was not reinstated, I have not tried to contact my wife directly. I am concerned that any sort of disagreement with what she wants will bring another restraint!
I Filed a Petition for Legal Separation: June 2, 2010
For almost a year after my wife’s secretive and deceptive separation, I had attempted in vain to talk to my wife, my wife’s counselor, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church. Since my wife had set an ultimatum of one year with her letter, and I had not been able to have substantial time with my own daughters or see our family’s financial situation, I followed the legal recommendation of several Christians to file a legal separation. I was also told that if I waited beyond the year that my wife would likely file and I would then be on the defensive as the respondent rather than the petitioner.
My Wife Files a Petition to Dissolve the Marriage (Divorce): June 24, 2010
In response to my file for legal separation, my wife filed for divorce and obtained a lawyer to pursue extensive legal action against me to obtain sole custody of our daughters and to continue and extend her control over my life and my family.
1st Court Hearing-Resolution Management Conference: August 11, 2010
As a result of my filing a legal separation to get time with my children and access to our family finances, a first hearing took place. At this time my wife asked for a divorce while I was opposed to the divorce and wanted the marriage to stay together. I told the judge that my wife has refused to follow due process to talk about our differences, and from a Christian standpoint, go through various biblical steps. My wife was offered counseling for our marriage by the judge which she refused. The judge said she had never had this situation before where one party wanted a divorce and other didn’t. She had to look up the Arizona law and discover that the party wanting divorce has the authority over the one who doesn’t.
The judge did not at this time set up parenting time for me, but said that both parties should work out an arrangement. The result was over 4 months of email exchanges during which time my wife and her lawyer continually stalled. I would not get overnight time and the opportunity to take my children to church with me until November 2010. This was the first time that I was able to take my own daughters to church with me since June 2009!
2nd and 3rd Court Hearings-Wife Gets “Temporary Sole Custody”: January 5-7 2011
In both the second and third hearings, which occurred during the same week, both my wife and I pursued a “sole” custody. I had been advised to do so in order to work out a compromise of “joint” custody and because I believed that my wife is mentally unstable and needs certain measures of accountability to ensure that she does not further deteriorate to the point of possibly hurting herself or our daughters. I have had no knowledge of where they lived (though I am a legal guardian and father), nor if my wife is taking any drugs (prescribed or otherwise), nor how she is treating our daughters.
Unfortunately, the judge did not allow me to present my 3 witnesses, who were all pastors. The judge would also not allow me to talk about my wife’s past abuse from her father and its relationship to the present situation. This topic was considered by the judge to be irrelevant!
My wife took the stand and lied about numerous issues. Not only I but several of my family members present recognized the various lies told by my wife. Yet her emotional pleas and the barrage of accusations from her lawyer convinced the judge of her story.
The judge gave my wife temporary “sole custody” of our daughters and garnished my wages $570.00 a month. This in effect kept me from getting my own apartment and setting up a situation where I could have “joint custody”. I am now unable to keep up with bills and am forced to go into bankruptcy.
At the end of these hearings, my wife’s lawyer told the judge that my wife was spending her Christmas bonus ($3000.00) to have me tested by a court ordered psychiatrist. My wife is not willing to follow the Bible and meet with Christian leaders, yet she will use a psychiatrist at great expense to attempt to gain exclusive control of our family and children.
Psychological Evaluation: Exam April 2011; Report Sept. 2011
In order to gain control over me, our possessions, and our children, my wife paid $3000 to have a secular psychologist interview me. She knew that she could not get leverage from going to Christian leaders (many of them might follow the Bible and stand by my side of the issue) so she went to a source that would not be confined by the Bible and its teachings.
My wife’s actions paid off for her. She got a secular psychologist to declare that I had a serious, narcissistic mental disorder (basically because I am a conservative Christian-see notes further in this article). This evaluation was given to the judge to use against me. In essence, since I was a dedicated biblical Christian, I was found mentally ill and unfit to parent!
Court Trial: May 5, 2011 and October 6, 2011-Postponed to January 2012
The trial for custody was originally scheduled for May 5, 2011 but was continued until October 6 and later until January 2012. My wife’s lawyer asked for the continuance, based upon the psychologist’s request for more time to process his work.
Trial: January 19, 2012, January 27, 2012
When I arrived for the actual trial, I was escorted and shadowed by 2 armed men. I do not know what they were told about me; I have never been told, but apparently I was being portrayed as a dangerous spouse (even though there was no proof of such, only the word of my wife).The trial began with my wife’s lawyer insinuating 3 times that I was molesting or was attempting to molest my daughters. From there, my wife’s lawyer continuously lied about me and portrayed me as a dangerous husband and father, mentally ill, and unable to care for my own children. Her lawyer even filed to ask the judge rule that I could not see my daughters overnight, nor take them to church!
Shortly after the trial, I received the judge’s ruling: I was declared an abusive husband, and potentially abusive father; therefore I lost custody of my children! No specific charges were proven or declared to be proven; the judge just made a general declaration and awarded my wife my children and a large portion of my paychecks (even though my wife makes almost $90,000 a year). Thus, the legal action that I initiated back in 2010 to see my children and my own finances was used against me to take my children away and most of my possessions, including my library (see notes below).
My Wife Divorced Me: March 15, 2012
About 6 weeks after the judge’s ruling, my wife’s divorce was finalized (I have never seen the paperwork). For several years, she refused to talk to me; she would not mediate, she still will not talk to me. All messages go through our children or through her lawyer.
“My objective is reconciliation, not divorce.
I am committed to this marriage and to you.”
(My wife in her separation letter to me, June 19, 2009, p 1)
“A wife is not to depart from her husband…But if the unbeliever departs…
a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.”
(1 Corinthians 7:10, 15)
My Wife Accepts Biased “Secular” Judgment
and Hates Biblical Christianity
“Has God indeed said?”
(Genesis 3:1—This was Satan’s attack upon God’s Word through Adam’s wife;
back then Satan used a serpent, in this situation, he has used a psychologist!)
“I think she has done a very good job.”
(Mrs. Celestia Tracy, voice mail left on my phone, describing her view of my wife’s actions toward me, November, 2009: Mrs Celestia Tracy made this statement even though almost everything my wife has done under her counseling has been directly against the clear teachings of the Bible and the facts concerning this matter!)
“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness.”
“The girls are supposedly at your church to worship and fellowship, not to be taken aside and queried with such obvious bias and selfish motives in the service of supporting an abuser’s scheme…your actions were a gross misuse of your pastoral role…you remain deluded concerning the nature of this situation…to ally yourself with an abuser and cede to Jr’s (my nickname) manipulation.”
“The girls were interviewed by a trained professional appointed by the court…You (Dr. Joel Tetreau) are neither qualified nor authorized to undertake an assessment in this matter and are hereby directed to refrain from any such activity in the future. If you are unable or unwilling to abide by this, I will pursue an injunction against harassment on behalf of the girls. This would necessarily preclude them from attending Southeast Valley Baptist Church. I have also communicated to the girls that they should tell anyone who tries to “interview” them, even under the
false guise of pastoral leadership.”
(My wife’s email sent to Dr. Joel Tetreau, senior pastor of Southeast Valley Baptist Church in Gilbert, Arizona, dated Friday, September 23, 2011; In response to my request and my pastor’s recommendation to counsel my daughters, my wife belittled a trained biblical theologian’s abilities, attacked his motives, and threatened him if he were to talk to my daughters at church in any way that touched upon our family situation. My wife threatened a “cease and desist” and to keep my daughters from attending his church if he talked to them again. According to my wife, a biblically trained theologian and counselor is “not qualified” to counsel family problems while secular unbelievers trained
in humanistic psychology are qualified!)
It ought to be clear to Christians and to many others that my wife believes in the superiority of psychology over the Bible, is obsessive about controlling her world and our daughters, attacks pastoral leadership attempting to biblically minister to my daughters, and assumes that my actions (which are in accordance with biblical teachings) are “manipulation” and “abusive” if they are not to her liking. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see who is manipulating and abusing here.
“The imperialistic intrusion of the psychotherapeutic into Christianity has attempted to undermine and redefine the supremacy of the Word of God among Christians. Nowhere have its effects been more intrusive and dramatic than in the ministry of the Word in relation to pastoral soul-care.”
(John D. Street, “Why Biblical Counseling and Not Psychology?” in Think Biblically: Recovering a Christian Worldview, ed. By John MacArthur, p 204; my wife’s response to Dr. Joel Tetreau is a clear demonstration of this “intrusion” that has been systematically brainwashing my wife through Mrs. Celestia Tracy)
Dr Joel Tetreau’s Response to My Wife and His Letter to the Judge
(September 28, 2011)
“I am a pastor. Pastor’s reach out to children and others when they go through the type of transition you are going through. How in the world you have read into this the way you have is bizarre. My conversation with your girls was limited, appropriate and motivated with a pure love for them. For you to question this is sick…
I pray for God’s mercy on your behalf.”
(Dr. Tetreau’s email response to my wife’s threatening email)
“Maynard was fearful that stress was taking a toll on the girls. My response was to ask if I could have a short conversation with them…What I find strange is that Mr. Mostrom who is being accused of abuse and neglect is totally open to conversations and Mrs. Mostrom has responded with tones of accusations and even legal threat. It may interest the court that I find no hint of danger or concern on the part of the girls that their dad is somehow a danger or a threat.”
(Dr. Tetreau’s letter, dated September 28, 2011; this letter and its support for my position and against my wife was not allowed to be admitted as evidence in court!)
My Wife and Civil Judge Use a Psychiatric Examination
Against Me and My Biblical Christianity
(Exam April 2011; Report Sept. 2011)
A large and expensive part of my wife and her lawyer’s tactics to get sole custody of my daughters came from their employment, at a cost of $3,000, of a psychiatrist to make a psychological examination of my mental health. Paid for by my wife and ordered by Judge Hoag, Dr John Scialli conducted the examination including the gathering of materials from both parties, an interview with my wife (which was only about me and not her) and a 3 hour interview with me. Dr. Scialli’s report and findings were given to the court and to each party.
“He did not endorse a sufficient number of symptoms to be diagnosed with a personality disorder, based solely on self-report. However, given the documentation, information from collateral sources, and from direct observation I found that he did meet the criteria for one personality disorder…It is my assessment,
to a reasonable degree of diagnostic certainty, that
Dr. Mostrom has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder….
The general criteria are: an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individuals culture, the enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive, and a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and sense of self-importance.”
“Dr Mostrom has a serious mental disorder…it is a chronic, difficult to treat condition, which primarily impacts Dr. Mostrom’s worldview, reasoning, and behavior…there are no medications appropriate for this diagnosis solely. Frequent (more than weekly) and long-term (years) individual psychotherapy is the recommended treatment.
However, Dr. Mostrom’s religious views would likely keep him uninterested
and uninvested in such a process.”
(What Dr. Scialli describes as a narcissistic personality disorder would apply to every conservative Christian who seriously follows the Bible; we do not conform to the world but to the Bible; we hold to biblical convictions that at their core are moral absolutes that don’t change, and we believe that our biblical beliefs are important enough to be the center of our life. According to this psychological diagnosis,
all biblical Christians have a serious mental disorder!)
“She said (my wife) that Dr. Mostrom puts an “excessive emphasis on the Bible”…She thinks he feels justified to lie. She finds him demeaning towards women, not only in his theologic orientation but because he made negative comments about women on television when the children were present.”
(Dr. Scialli, psychiatrist paid $3000 by my wife to conduct an evaluation of my mental health: Apparently I don’t have the right to make moral judgments in teaching my children; whatever the specific occasion was that my wife was referring to, I did not make negative statements because they were women, but because they were sinners. According to my wife I put an “excessive emphasis on the Bible.” This is my wife’s selfish, psychological downplaying of biblical authority in favor of other sources of authority, like herself and psychological “experts”. As a conservative Christian, I believe, as millions of Christians have throughout Church history, that the Bible is the supreme standard for all matters of life, including marital problems. This is not excessive; it is what the Bible itself teaches,
but not what Mrs. Tracy and Mending the Soul teach!)
My Wife Wants to Sell My Christian Library; Judge Agrees
“The parties’ library containing theological books should be sold and the proceeds equally divided between the parties. The Respondent’s (my wife) position is that the books are valued at anywhere between $25,000 and $40,000
(My wife’s pre-trial statement for Oct. 6 trial; My wife not only doesn’t want to be with me and help my serve in Christian ministry; she wants to take away a lifetime of collected tools for ministering to others; the judge agreed and ordered the library sold)
My wife was willing to settle for $12,500, leaving me only $7,500 from the pension to cover more than $10,000 that the judge has assessed against me. My wife makes almost $90,000 a year, would get all $40,000 of the pension, destroy my credit, and take my children from me. These actions from a wife who claims that she “loves” me!
For all my wife’s posturing about wanting me to serve God, she really wants only money and control and she is demonstrating that she has no interest in Christian ministry or my use of a life-time of gathered resources to help Christians and others.
My Wife Lies to Get “Sole Custody” of Our Daughters
My wife wanted obsessive control over me and our possessions, including our children. In order to get this, she has personally lied about me and has allowed her lawyer to do the same. Listed below are a few of the many lies that have occurred in legal documents given to the 2 judges.
Wife’s Lie: “She did not interfere with the Petitioner’s access to the children but fully accommodated each request…Children should not attend the Petitioner’s church…Petitioner should not have overnight access -(My wife’s Oct. 6th Pre-Trial statement)
Truth: I was kept from seeing my children in numerous ways; was not allowed to have them stay overnight; nor was I allowed to to take them to church for almost 18 months. I was also threatened that if I did not do what my wife wanted, she would not let me see them. After I took my wife to court to get parenting time with my children and be “allowed” to take them to church, my wife later filed to have these things taken away from me.
“Children should not attend Petitioner’s (Maynard) present church and continue to be exposed to inappropriate behavior on the part of the pastor or the Petitioner’s justifications of abuse and misogyny disguised in religion..Petitioner should not have overnight access.”
(My wife’s Oct. 6th Pre-Trial statement, pp 4-5; Notice that my wife was opposed to me and my pastor; she has acted the same way toward others who have disagreed with her or those who have helped me and my children)
Wife’s Lie: “It is clear from Petitioner’s (Mr. Mostrom) behaviors and own statements that his objectives are self-serving and not motivated by a desire to care for, protect, or provide for the well being of the parties’ minor children. For example, as referred to in Dr. Scialli’s report, the Petitioner set up a defamatory website wherein he openly and publicly railed against the Respondent and cloaked his raging behavior in religiosity. The message is clear, however, that the Petitioner continues to view the Respondent as an ‘insubordinate’ and ‘rebellious’ wife who is ‘less than’ he (due to her gender ALONE) and that he believes he is entitled to use whatever means he determines necessary to ensure her ‘submission’ and ‘obedience’ to his ‘authority.’ It is this kind of delusional grandiosity, arrogance, and expectation of automatic compliance—combined with dramatic misogyny—that poses a concern to the Respondent for the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well being of the parties’ two daughters.” (My wife’s October 6 Pre-Trial Statement)
Truth: I could spend a whole article on this paragraph alone. First, my motives for my actions and my website are to serve God by following the Bible and to stand opposed to the beliefs and processes in this situation that are contrary to the Bible and harmful to my family. I believe, and am demonstrating this openly and publically, that my wife and the Tracys’ are hurting my children spiritually and emotionally.
Second, my wife presents the consequences of the distorted, feminist perspective that Mrs. Tracy has taught her. She is vehemently opposed to a husband’s biblical authority and distorts such authority into an inherently selfish and threatening position against my daughters. I am not delusional nor abusive, but biblical and rational in what I believe. I have clearly presented my views in my doctoral dissertation and in many other papers. I hold to distinct gender roles in accordance with mainstream “complementarians” who follow the Bible and with the majority of Christians during the past 2000 years. Note: my wife wants automatic compliance from me without question. This is the type of selfish obsessively controlling action that she accuses me of! My wife wants to use the argument of control as a reason to take my children away, yet she wants to control my life and my children, in a way that is not loving nor biblical. She is the abusive one in our relationship who demonstrates this in her actions and writings.
Wife’s Lie: “The Petitioner (Maynard) was well aware that the Respondent would incur unnecessary attorney’s fees if he did not appear for trial. It is more than probably, given the history of the abusive conduct by the Petitioner and the history of the Petitioner’s conduct in this litigation, that the Petitioner deliberately ‘played stupid‘ in not appearing for trial, knowing that it would not only inconvenience and frustrate the Respondent, but would result in her paying unnecessary additional attorney’s fees” (Respondent’s Motion for Attorney’s Fees, January 24, 2012)
Truth: Unknown to me, the trial of January 19, 2012 was moved from the Mesa courthouse to downtown Phoenix. I found out when I arrived at the Mesa courthouse and went directly to Phoenix, where I was about 90 minutes late. The judge rescheduled for January 26 at the same location. My wife and her lawyer accuse me of intentionally refusing to show up, and attempt to use it as accumulated evidence against me. What was an unintentional mix-up in location is twisted into a sick game of emotional and financial abuse. This accusation, like her other accusations, is a malicious lie by my wife to get sympathy with the judge and thus win her case.
Wife’s Lie: “The Petitioner (Maynard) has a history of committing acts of domestic violence against the Respondent (my wife)…He was escorted from the building where the Respondent’s counselor works, by the police…The Petitioner thwarted a short sale on the parties’ community residence…(My Wife’s Motion for My Psychiatric Evaluation, January 14, 2011)
Truth: First, I do not have a history of committing acts of domestic violence. Other than my wife’s own delusional and vindictive testimony, there is no objective record with the police or with others (including family members and friends) substantiating my wife’s accusations. The history of my domestic acts are in my wife’s mental illness, not in actual history itself.
Second, I was not escorted from Mrs. Tracy’s building by the police; After being treated in an ungodly and rude manner by my wife’s counselor, I went to the lobby and called the police. After my call, I was told to leave by the head of counseling center. I left the building and waited for the police outside; when they arrived, I told the police my story and left without incident. (The head of the counseling center, Raymond Branton, lied in court on the witness stand and said that the counseling center called the police; when I was allowed to cross examine, I got this him to admit that he didn’t know. I then told the judge that I was the one who called the police; this can be verified by my phone records and Dr. Branton’s own email sent to me September 24, 2009.)
Third, I did not thwart a short sale on our house; my wife left me with the house and mortgage; I couldn’t make the payments on my own, so knowing that we would lose the house, I looked into a short sale. During this time, the load company offered a loan modification so I could stay. This is why I ceased to pursue a short sale that I, not my wife, initiated.
Wife’s Lie: “The Respondent has been the primary caretaker for the children and has, historically made decisions on behalf of the children. The Petitioner has never questioned this “role” division throughout the parties’ marriage or questioned the decisions made by the Respondent.” (My wife’s pre-trial statement, p 2)
Truth: First, my wife and I made about the same amount of money until 2004. Since then I went back to school to finish my doctorate while still working full time. Second, my wife filled out a primary care checklist in which she stated that she took care of approximately 90% of the household tasks. The fact is I took care of our vehicles, our pool, all of the yard work, most of the laundry (I did all the laundry for over a 2 year stretch); I taught my children, helped them with their schoolwork, took them to the doctor when they were sick (almost every trip for over 4 years), etc. Third, I have questioned numerous decisions made by my wife, especially if they were contrary to the Bible or against my express wishes.
My Wife, the Tracys, Phoenix Seminary, and the Judge Refuse to See the Truth:
Creation of My Website, “Cause of God and Truth”
“Your wife and ministry have wrecked havoc on my family for the past 3 years. As you know from the seminary, I am preparing to go public…Your wife has given a steady stream of false teaching to my wife that has caused untold damage to my marriage, family, finances, and reputation. You have convinced my wife to keep isolated and you refuse to even hear me out…
(My email sent to Mending the Soul website, March 14, 2011)
When it became apparent that the Christian community in the Phoenix area and the judge would not listen to the truth about my situation, I believed that it was necessary to take my story to the general public. With the help of several people, I started this website and plan to continue to tell the truth through various articles.
My Wife Asks Judge to Shutdown My Website;
Judge Orders Me to Delete My Wife’s Name
(Family Trial, January 2012)
“Respondent respectfully requests the Court to order that the Petitioner immediately remove all personally identifiable information of the Respondent…her counselor Celestia Tracy and her husband Steve Tracy, the counseling program “Mending the Soul,” Respondent’s pastor Scott Brown and New Valley Church, and individuals associated with Phoenix Seminary.”
(My wife’s pre-trial statement, pp 5-6; my wife does not want the truth to be told; she kept the truth hidden under her lawyer’s lies in the courtroom; now she wants to stop my story from being heard by others)
At the end of the trial, the judge ordered me to remove my wife’s name from my website to “protect” my wife. I asked if the judge had the authority to require this; she got upset and stated again that I was to do this immediately or I would be found in contempt if I didn’t.
It is further ordered Father is to remove from his website the Respondent’s name and the names of their children within 48 hours of today’s date. The court finds this information would not be in the best interests of the children.”
(Judge Shellie Smith, Court Records, mailed January 25, 2012; the names of my children were accidentally included in the introductory section when copied from a previous document. I removed my wife’s name, not thinking it wise to challenge this ruling at the time)
Dr. and Mrs. Steven Tracy Use a Law Firm to Send
a “Cease and Desist” on My Website
(October 28, 2011)
For over 5 years, the Tracys’ have given my wife destructive, humanistic counsel while refusing to talk to me or to other Christian leaders that I have asked to contact them. In fact, I and other Christian leaders have been threatened with harassment if we continue to contact them directly. They intentionally refuse to follow the Bible in their teaching and in their lack of responses to those they have been hurting, yet they have no problem taking legal action against me. I received a letter from a law firm demanding a cease and desist for their photographs on my website. The Tracy’s won’t use the biblical process of church authority but they will use secular power to force compliance.
Dear Dr. Mostrom,
Please be advised that this firm represents Dr. Steve Tracy, Celestia Tracy, and Mending the Soul. Our clients have retained us to make demand upon you to remove certain protected photographs and images that you have unlawfully displayed on your website…
Therefore, WE HEREBY DEMAND THAT you immediately CEASE AND DESIST from using any and all of our clients’ photographs…It is our clients’ desire to resolve this matter without further dispute. For the record, our clients disagree with your misstatements of certain facts concerning them and misrepresentations of their professional and personal character. While frustrated with your personal assault on them, my clients are, at the same time, mindful that your comments emanate from and are clouded by your own personal pain and conflict. So, while they may not agree with your comments, they do not wish to challenge them at this time…
Very truly yours,
WARNOCK, MACKINLAY & CARMAN, PLLC
John T. White
For the Firm
To this day, the Tracys have not expressed to me a single specific challenge to anything that I have said. They have used the HIPAA laws to hide their false teaching and continue to use silence as their defense. Yet they have continued to give their poisonous teachings to my wife and support her ungodly behavior.
Dr. and Mrs. Steven Tracy Refuse to Talk to Me
But Are Willing to Talk to My Wife’s Attorney
(April 19, 2011)
“Celestia said that the attorney in your divorce settlement case wanted any additional documentation of Maynard’s inappropriate behavior. Hence, I asked Dr. Bing Hunter, the Vice President of Academic Affairs at Phoenix Seminary if he would be willing to write a letter about Maynard’s harassing calls to the seminary.”
(Dr. Steven Tracy, email to my wife, April 19, 2011: the Tracy’s and Phoenix Seminary systematically tear my family apart with false teaching and refuse to biblically talk to me and others (which is more than inappropriate-it is sinful and wicked), yet my attempts to talk to the leadership of the seminary and bring biblical accountability to this destruction are
This information from Phoenix seminary was sent to my wife’s lawyer to help make a case against me and take away my children. Phoenix seminary refuses to follow the Bible and help me, yet it has no problem helping an ungodly wife violate the teachings of the Bible and tear apart a marriage (more on Phoenix seminary in another article)
Appeals to Local Lawyers, the Christian Law Association,
and the Alliance Defense Fund
When my marital situation required the use of the courts, I found out just how difficult it is no get legal assistance. Most law firms want at least $3000 up front just to start; I eventually used a paralegal service in the area. It was very helpful in preparing documents and giving advice but I had no lawyer to represent me in court. I was told by several people that I needed a lawyer, however, I did not have the funds to obtain one.
Christian Lawyers: Christian Law Association and Alliance Defense Fund
When I was unable to obtain a lawyer, I was advised to contact 2 Christian legal groups that help Christians with legal problems. Both the CLA and the Alliance Defense Fund (which is here locally in Scottsdale) were gracious when talking over the phone; however, both groups explained that my situation was outside the scope of work that they performed. I found out that there is legal help for Christians that are persecuted by the state but not for those who are persecuted by other Christians and by their spouse.
“Now as he thus made his defense, Festus said with a loud voice, ‘Paul, you are beside yourself! Much learning is driving you mad!’ But he said, ‘I am not mad, most noble Festus, but speak the words of truth and reason.”
“But I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel, so that is has become evident to the whole palace guard, and to all the rest, that my chains are in Christ; and most of the brethren in the Lord, having become confident by my chains, are much more bold to speak the word without fear…according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing shall I be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body…For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
(Philippians 1:12-14, 20-21)
Due in large part to my wife’s counselor, Mrs Celestia Tracy, my wife’s life of sin and rebellion was mentally turned from an evil thing to a good thing. Then empowered by her counselor and her psychological support system, my wife spread her lies though her letters and into the court system.
As I went through the legal process to obtain parenting time with my children, I discovered firsthand that there is little opportunity for justice in the court system unless you have money and a lawyer. The system is busy and stereotypes govern the decision making process. In addition, the Christian community, which had plenty of time to investigate my situation, did not provide official representation to counteract the lies from my wife and her counselor.
I did not abuse my wife and no proof of specific abuse was stated in court; it was enough for my wife’s lawyer to play the legal games and give the image and appearance of my guilt. My children were taken away from me and my financial situation, due to legal costs and garnished wages, keeps me in poverty and unable to stabilize my life and attempt to get my children and my life back.
In spite of the tragic circumstances that have befallen me, I do rejoice that God has used this situation to spread his truth to thousands in the Phoenix area and around the country. I pray that God will continue to use my life to further His Cause.