A Public Exposure of the Liberal, Feminist Teachings of Dr. Steven Tracy
through “Mending the Soul” and Phoenix Seminary and His Secretive, Coercive Attack Upon My Family
by Dr. Maynard C. Mostrom, Jr.
B.A., M.Div., S.T.M., D.Min., Ph.D. Studies
Part 1: Overview and Plea for Help
“The belief that psychology is simply a part of “God’s truth” outside of Scripture needs serious evaluation…Sadly, this false claim that counseling is a science continues to be actively promoted in the church. Worse yet, many within the church seem not to care that its scientific claims are false; it has become too useful in numbers and finances. The church shows no inclination to separate itself from the destructive body of doctrine underlying counseling psychology; instead, it seems to actively suppress any attempt to expose the truth in this crucial area.”
(Gary Almy, How Christian Is Christian Counseling?, pp.9-10)
“Christianity is an abusive theology that glorifies suffering. Is it any wonder that there is so much abuse in modern society when the predominate image or theology of a culture is of “divine child abuse”–God the Father demanding and carrying out the suffering and death of his own son? If Christianity is to be liberating to the oppressed, it must itself be liberated from this theology. We must do away with the atonement…”
(J.C. Brown and C.R. Bohn, Christianity, Patriarchy, and Abuse: A Feminist Critique, p.26—This book is on the recommended reading list for Mending the Soul)
“Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple.”
(Romans 16:17-18: NKJV)
“Now when Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed…But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all…”
(Galatians 2:11, 14: NKJV—the Apostle Paul publicly rebukes the Apostle Peter because of the seriousness of his sin)
What I am disclosing to the Christian world in this series of articles is a shocking and true revelation of a real and destructive process centered within the Christian community in the Phoenix metropolitan area. This secretive and subversive system flows primarily from Dr. Steven Tracy and his liberal, feminist counseling that operates through his teaching position at Phoenix Seminary and “Mending the Soul,” his private counseling center.
In this series, I will demonstrate with openness, honesty, and numerous evidences that Dr. Tracy and those who work with him are giving substantial amounts of “false teaching” to students, counselees, church members, and to others through his worldly and psychological “theology of abuse.” I will show how both in method (selfish isolation) and message (selfish individualism) Dr. Tracy’s approach to dealing with the topic of “abuse” is fundamentally not Christian and harmful to those who follow it . I will also provide personal details from my life that illustrate the destructive consequences of this false instruction upon my wife, my children, and my family.
CONTEXT FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone, But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more…And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
(Matthew 18:15-17: NKJV)
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly…But his delight is in the law of the Lord…”
(Psalm 1:1a, 2a: NKJV)
“Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.”
(1 Timothy 4:16: NKJV)
“O Timothy! Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowlege—by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith.”
(1 Timothy 6:20-21: NKJV)
In order to provide you the readers with a brief context of understanding, several facts need to be mentioned at the outset of this series:
First, you need to know that I am not approaching this task lightly. For nearly 3 years I have sought to follow a biblical path of working through issues privately with those involved. I have both personally and with the assistance of other Christian leaders attempted to talk to the Tracys’ and several others involved. Three area pastors in particular have been my advisers and friends during this time. Each of these men and others have worked with me to follow a biblical process in this matter. As you will see, in stark contrast to an open and biblical approach, various parties associated with my wife have repeatedly refused to follow the basic and clear steps outlined in the Bible for dealing with doctrinal and relational problems. This series reveals how the private aspects of Matthew 18 and other passages have been intentionally and repeatedly violated by my wife and these parties in order to cover up the truth about this horrible and sinful counseling process. According to biblical teaching, this matter needs to go public (in fact it is long overdue). I have waited this long mostly for the sake of my children and wife, and because now the legal process is accepting my wife’s slanderous stereotype against me, has placed a huge financial burden on me through a forced child support of $570 a month, and has awarded my wife “temporary” sole custody of our daughters. It is time for the Christian world to know the truth about this matter.
Second, you need to know that I am a trained and experienced theologian, minister, counselor and writer. I have biblical degrees from Maranatha Baptist Bible College, Calvary Baptist Theological Seminary, Dallas Theological Seminary, and Phoenix Seminary. In addition, I have lived and ministered in the Phoenix area for most of my life in the ministry capacities of teacher, pastor, counselor, and author. I have taught for Arizona College of the Bible, International Baptist College, and Tri-City Christian Academy. I have also been the Youth Pastor at Tri-City Baptist Church and the Bible Curriculum Designer for Alpha Omega Publications. Also, for over 20 years I have been a “nouthetic” counselor (for an understanding of how biblical counseling should be done, see the popularization of nouthetic counseling by Jay Adams and Wayne Mack, among others—In contrast to liberal feminist counseling, nouthetic counselors do not isolate but communicate through the authority of the Bible, the church, and the husband; they also do not allow people to be perpetual victims, but rather hold all individuals, including females, accountable to the same biblical standards—They demonstrate that you cannot properly define abuse unless you use the biblical categories of “sin”). These degrees and Christian experiences do not prove that my story and its details are true; however, they demonstrate that I am not a novice nor ignorant about the identity of Christian beliefs and what constitutes a serious departure from these beliefs.
Third, you need to know that I wrote my doctoral dissertation for Phoenix Seminary on the invasion of liberal feminism into American Protestantism from the Civil War to the present. My adviser was Dr. Wayne Grudem, probably the world’s foremost expert on understanding and teaching the biblical theology of gender. Following in his steps and those of other Christian conservatives, I adhere to the basic teachings of the “Complementarian” movement, its biblical distinctions among gender roles, and its opposition to the basic teachings of feminism, especially in its so called “evangelical” form. I am not an ignorant extremist living in the past, but rather a biblical conservative who has heavily researched and written upon the attack and destructiveness of feminist liberalism upon the Christian church.
Fourth, you need to know that this matter is intensely personal for me. It directly involves my wife of 25 years, our 3 children, and numerous family and friends. While I will be discrete about the personal consequences upon my family, I want each of you to know the true and practical destructiveness that Dr. Tracy’s feminist counseling has brought upon my family and upon others.
Fifth, you need to know that I hope you will investigate this matter for yourselves. What you will hear and see in this and following articles will be for many of you too shocking and bizarre to believe. I have been open about this situation from the beginning, while my wife, her counselor, and many others have not only been secretive, but intentionally unwilling to talk with me and other Christian leaders about this matter. You will also see that I have been repeatedly threatened both verbally and legally to keep silent on this matter and not expose the true, destructive nature of what is going on behind the public eye.
OVERVIEW: MY WIFE ABANDONS OUR FAMILY
(January 2008-Summer 2011)
“If I have to choose between my way and God’s way, I will choose my way.”
(My wife, January 2009)
“The Bible has nothing to do with it.”
(My wife, February 2009, referring to her views on her past childhood abuse and her accusations against me)
“I think she has done a very good job.”
(Mrs. Celestia Tracy, voice mail left on my phone, describing her view of My wife’s actions toward me, November, 2009)
“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness.”
(Isaiah 5:20: NKJV)
“Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ.”
(Colossians 2:8: NKJV)
Since the early part of 2008, my wife has been counseled by Dr. Tracy’s wife, Celestia Tracy at Mending the Soul in Mesa, Arizona. My wife grew up in an unbelieving home and was abused both sexually and physically by her father, who lives in Mesa, Arizona, throughout her childhood and early teen years. As a consequence, she has seriously struggled throughout her life as a person, a wife, and a mother. Throughout our years together, I have sought to be a patient and loving husband, making numerous sacrifices in order to help my wife cope with life in general and being a minister’s wife in particular. When my wife began to receive counseling from Mending the Soul, I had serious concerns because of what I knew about them at the time, yet I was moderately hopeful that Mrs. Tracy might be able to help my wife see the biblical course of action that she needed to follow to receive true healing; unfortunately what has occurred under Mrs. Tracy’s “care” over the past 3 years has been a nightmare.
In this section, I have listed some of the tragic events and destructive consequences that have occurred as a part of Mrs Tracy’s “mending” my wife’s soul:
January 2008 to June 19, 2009: My Wife Begins Counsel with “Mending the Soul”
“Human therapies are embraced most eagerly by the spiritually weak—those who are shallow or ignorant of biblical truth and who are unwilling to accept the path of suffering that leads to spiritual maturity..these people remain immature, held back by a self-imposed dependence on some pseudo-Christian method
..that actually stifles real growth.”
(John MacArthur, Recovering Biblical Counseling, p 17)
“For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
(2 Timothy 3:6-7: NKJV)
“But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”
(James 3:14-16: NKJV)
“Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to to teach or to have authority over a man…”
(1 Timothy 2:11, 12a: NKJV)
At the beginning of my wife’s counseling with Mending the Soul, she attended a women’s group where the leader talked openly about leaving her husband. When I asked my wife about the details and any biblical support for such actions, she refused to comment further.
My wife came home from these meetings shaking and disoriented. It was clear to me and our children that she was traumatized and having an increasing difficulty trying to cope with everyday life.
After 2 months of group sessions, Celestia Tracy contacted my wife to begin personal counseling. Mrs. Tracy never talked to me at that time nor since about what she was going to tell my wife. This information has from the very beginning been kept secret from me. (In this regard, my authority as a husband has been completely ignored and violated.)
As I looked further into the counseling program of Dr. Tracy in both Mending the Soul and Phoenix Seminary, I was shocked at just how unbiblical his approach to counseling and abuse was. I was shocked to find materials used and recommended that were explicitly anti Christian, written by godless and blasphemous individuals, many of whom advocate or tolerate same sex relationships.
During the initial months of counseling from Mrs. Tracy, my wife went into a deep depression and increasingly isolated herself from me, our children, and from others
Since beginning counseling with Mrs. Tracy, my wife has not had a meaningful conversation with me for almost 3 years. In addition, during this time my wife has not “initiated” physical contact of any kind with me for almost 3 years.
Prior to “her separation,” from me in June 2009, my wife was absent from me and our children for long periods of time. We didn’t know where she was, whether she would pick up our children at school, or what kind of mood she would be in when present. During the year prior to her abandoning me and our son, my wife would not make meals and would not participate in any family activities if they included me.
In early 2009 my wife talked about suicide, hating God, hating me, hating men, hating our house, and hating life. It was obvious that she was spiraling downward into a direction of greater trauma, despair, and possible suicide.
When I called Mrs. Tracy and left a voice mail expressing my concerns, I received a voice mail from her assistant saying that my wife hadn’t signed a disclosure to allow her to talk to me. With additional pleas for communication, Mrs. Tracy communicated by letter and email that I was not to attempt to communicate with her any further!
“I have simply chosen the word abuser as a shorthand way of saying “men who chronically make their partners feel mistreated or devalued.”
(Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That, xviii—This book is on the recommended reading list for Mending the Soul and was given by Mrs. Tracy to my wife to read. It is an ultra-liberal book that systematically teaches women how to tear apart their marriages and leave their husbands. (My wife’s actions over the past 3 years have followed the
instructions of the book).
In a liberal and unbiblical fashion, the author has changed the meaning of abuse from an unlawfully coercive and harmful action defined by the Bible into a psychological feeling that is defined by the individual . This is a book that repeatedly violates the teachings of the Bible, teaches a double standard of behavior among the sexes (assuming men to be abusers and women to be victims by definition), and encourages women to be angry and controlling toward men. I will have at least one article in the future devoted to critiquing this book).
During this time, my wife began making groundless and slanderous accusations of “abuse” against me based upon her traumatized feminist interpretations of abuse and the abuse hysteria created by Mrs. Tracy. Contrary to the clear biblical path of open and honest communication, my wife continued to follow the ungodly path given to her which caused her to further withdraw from me while avoiding other counselors, family, or friends. (On the contrary, it has been my wife who has throughout our marriage and and as you can see in this article, been abusing and controlling me. My wife has obsessively controlled my life and family, trying to make me a prisoner and slave in my own home-this is particularly true In the area of our finances, my career in Christian ministry, our physical relationship, and our children).
My wife has intentionally and repeatedly avoided any discussion with me and other Christian leaders centering upon the Bible. I pleaded over and over for my wife to go to a “nouthetic” counselor with me, or allow me to meet with her and her counselor. She has then and since refused to meet with me, open a Bible, and discuss the matter with me and other Christian leaders. Though I am a biblical scholar, she says that I am twisting the Bible (though she has never attempted to disprove my views by showing my “misinterpretation” of any verses) and that she thinks she knows the truth better than I and other conservative biblical scholars, even though she is a novice Bible student.
I found out that Mrs. Tracy told my wife to leave me months before June 2009 without ever talking to me, without any warning, and without any Christian or civil leaders contacting me or coming to see me. Mrs Tracy has intentionally violated the biblical process that works through the authority of the local church and the husband. She and others have developed and accepted my wife’s traumatized and skewed interpretation of our marriage without ever attempting to verify or test my wife’s accusations through due process, investigation, interviews, centered upon the Bible and led my several godly Christian leaders. (As you will see later, my wife has repeatedly refused Christian involvement and has rigorously pursued secular involvement, including the bullying actions of her lawyer and the use of a court ordered psychiatrist, in order to get her perspective accepted in court, dump the majority of our debt on me, and take my children from me.
During this time, my wife increasing argued with our son. On several occasions, I had to intervene on our son’s behalf because of the bullying behavior of my wife. On two of these occasions, My wife literally pushed me out of the room and locked the door to keep me from observing her actions. Over and over my wife refused to sit down at a table and properly discuss our family situation. She either isolated herself or became overly aggressive and bullying in her actions.
During this time, I was taking my family to a conservative Christian church. My wife refused to attend most services and reluctantly went on Sunday morning. She constantly pushed me to leave the church and go elsewhere, yet she would not give reasons as to why she wanted to leave. When I finally agreed to visit other churches, she used this opportunity, especially while I worked on some Sundays, to arrange to go to a church approved by Mending the Soul. At no time did my wife, Mending the Soul, or the elders of this church ever discuss this with me.
My wife took our daughters and insisted that they go to a church of her choice against my wishes. There was no conversation on her part about the reasons; she simply took them. I would later find out that she had secretly arranged to go to New Valley Church in Phoenix, a liberal PCA church that has intentionally ignored me and avoided any pursuit of Matthew 18 both before and after the separation of June 2009.
June 19, 2009: My Wife’s Separation and Her Letter
“Feminists have portrayed women as oppressed victims. That is no doubt true in some settings and cultures. However, those situations , no matter how serious, do not relieve us of responsibility for any ways that we may be perpetrators. No failure on the part of men can strip us of accountability for our behavior…”
(Nancy L. DeMoss, “Biblical Womanhood in the Home, p. 96)
“The wise woman builds her house. But the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
(Proverbs 14:1: NKJV)
“that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
(Titus 3:4-5: NKJV)
“The wife does not have authority over her own body; but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time.”
(1 Corinthians 7:4-5a: NKJV)
“Calling Celestia’s office and believing that she should talk to you because you are my husband…being overly-attentive to the girls and increasing their attachment to you…insisting that I see a “nouthetic” counselor with you…Looking for critiques and criticisms of the Mending the Soul ministry.”
(From my wife’s separation letter, p 9,10: These are some of the “abusive” things as she saw it that I did to force her into the decision to leave)
On June 19, 2009 I came home that Friday afternoon to find a half empty house and a letter on the kitchen counter. My wife left me and our son without warning and kidnapped my 2 daughters. She threatened me with charges of abuse if I attempted to go see the girls or her. She took my daughters away from me without any civil servants or spiritual leaders ever coming to see me. Of her own accord, without any biblical or civil support, my wife took control of our family and finances, took my daughters away to an undisclosed location and determined that I could not see them for any length of time, nor overnight, nor take them to church with me.
I would not be allowed by my wife to keep my daughters with me overnight or take my daughters to church with me for almost 18 months. This illegal and obsessive control of my children by my wife (a serious act of abuse toward me) would only be broken when I filed for a legal separation to get the court to force my wife to allow substantial and overnight parenting time for me.
My wife abandoned our home, which has since gone into foreclosure and was sold. She was also upset that my sister and I had gotten a loan modification on the mortgage in order for her family and I to have a place to live.
My son and I were left with numerous unpaid bills while my wife took money (including my own paychecks) and secretly set up a new household for herself. If it were not for my father paying most of these leftover bills, my son and I would have been homeless. I have since this time struggled just to stay alive financially. Often this has involved borrowing money until receiving a paycheck, leaving other bills unpaid, or gathering up loose change to put gas in my car and buy a hamburger on a value meal for my food.
My wife left me while I was attempting to candidate for the position of senior pastor at Grace Baptist Church in Tempe. Especially since my time as Youth Pastor at Tri-City Baptist Church in Tempe (now Chandler) from 1997 to 2001, my wife has been strongly against my being in Christian ministry.
My wife took all of the documents pertaining to our household, including the mortgage and other financial papers. To this day I have asked her for copies of these documents and she has refused to provide them. She also had all of the mail, including mine forwarded to her new address. Having no documents and no incoming mail, it took me extensive time and effort just to track down our financial situation. What I found was shocking!
In her separation letter, my wife told me how the financial arrangement would work and what I would be responsible for. I have had little choice and virtually no control over my own family’s finances. (This is a continuation of my wife’s obsessive control of our finances during our marriage. While she makes over $70,000 a year, my wife has wrecked our finances over the years and has fought to keep me from having any control in the matter, other than to provide more and more money to pay for her recklessness. One of her coping mechanisms in her life has been materialism. Over the past 3 years, we filed jointly over $100,000 yet we were in massive debt due to her obsessive control and mismanagement of our funds. Now she is going to divorce me, trying to give me much more than half of the outstanding debt, while trying to keep all of her pension. I am having to declare bankruptcy while she will have a substantial salary to start her finances over while I am struggling just to survive). At the time of the separation, I had to get a credit report just to find out what our financial situation looked like. She would not before the separation nor since talk with me like a normal person and wife about our own financial life.
In her separation letter, my wife said that she would consider reconciliation only if I did everything that she wanted without question or incident and had the unconditional acceptance of Mrs. Tracy and another counselor that she worked with. In return, I had no rights to talk to my wife, see my children overnight or take them to church, nor see the totality of our family finances. I was to do everything she wanted while she would do nothing that I asked or biblically required. Mrs. Tracy, I have a question for you: How would you ever justify or attempt to justify setting my wife up as an absolute dictator and matriarch from the Bible! You can not; the only way to do so is to follow a feminist approach to this matter! (By the way, if a husband did this to his wife, you would call it abuse; why is it acceptable if a wife does it to her husband!-such is the double standard and hypocrisy of feminism). Since you and your husband approve of such bullying and controlling behavior, kidnapping children and staging a secretive takeover of a man’s family, you and you husband should be publicly rebuked by the Christian Church and arrested by the police and sent to prison as accessories to kidnapping my daughters and seriously harming my wife. This secretive rebellion and takeover of a man’s family comes from liberal feminism and not from the Bible. The Tracys are intentional rebels against God and the Bible; they are false teachers! (Even if they may be “born again,” their ministry stems directly out of the world’s ungodly postmodern system—much more on this matter in future articles in which I will show from the their own writings and ministry that they are directing my wife to follow this path– it is not all of her own doing).
My son and I held several garage sales to try and gain enough money to supplement my income while still working the job I had (which due to the recession had been reduced) and looking for new employment.
I have had to pack up my belongings and put most of them in storage while living in various places such as a room in our house, inside a semi-truck, in an open room at a friend’s house, and now in a room at my sister’s house.
Due to the stress of this situation, I have had an ambulance take me to the hospital 3 times for my back condition, which causes severe muscle spasms and chronic pain.
During this time, my children have been traumatized by their mother’s actions. Not knowing what is going on or how their mother will react, they live in fear and pain while trying to make a normal life for themselves. They are in too much pain to talk about the situation, frustrated by the lack of communication due to their mothers control, and saddened when they have to leave their father. Our youngest child has numerous times been crying and clinging to me not to let her go. With all of this stress upon our children, my wife has the audacity to tell my mother that this has not traumatized our children!
Since my wife’s separation was without warning during the summer, I had very little time to find a better income to survive and pay the most basic bills. Since I had driven with a CDL license, I enrolled in a truck driving school and went over the road driving in order to get income while trying to figure out how to spiritually and financially deal with the unforeseen crisis that I was forced to face. This took place in the middle of summer and the fall and involved time away from my children (As you will see later, my wife has used this situation to try and show the judge that I didn’t care to see my children.)
September 2009: Celestia Tracy Panics My Wife and Lies about Me
“Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”
(John 7:24: NKJV)
“Over the past decade a host of evangelical psychological clinics have sprung up. Though almost all of them claim to offer biblical counsel, most merely dispense secular psychology disguised in spiritual terminology…many have bought the lie that a crucial realm of spiritual wisdom exists outside of Scripture, and that some idea or technique from that extrabiblical realm holds the real key to helping people with their deep problems… the counsel these professionals dispense is often spiritually disastrous.”
(John MacArthur, Rediscovering Biblical Counseling, p 7,17)
“Mrs Celestia Tracy has progressively facilitated the steady deterioration of my wife’s spiritual and mental health…has repeatedly undermined and ignored my authority as a husband and a father…has intentionally bypassed the biblical process of local church involvement in marital affairs, has relied upon explicitly feminist literature and methods in her counseling, and has assisted and approved my wife’s secretive and deceitful separation from me.”
(My letter to the elders of New Valley Church, May 2010)
When I returned from my out of state training to drive a semi-truck, I went to Professional Counseling Associates in Mesa, where Mrs. Tracy works, to talk about payment of a session which my wife asked me to attend. When I met Mrs. Tracy, she was rude and unwilling to talk to me; when I attempted to explain that it was my wife’s father and not me who abused her, Mrs. Tracy became infuriated with me. She went into her office, called my wife, and put her into a panic by lying about my purpose and activity at her office. Mrs. Tracy unnecessarily escalated the situation at her work, refused to talk to me in a professional and mature manner, made assumptions about me that are not true, and cast my wife and daughters into a panic mode. (I found out later that my wife immediately left work, took our girls out of school in the middle of the day, and “hid” at my brother’s house for a few days!). What did Mrs. Tracy tell my wife and what has my wife been saying about me to Mrs. Tracy? I have never been told.
When I went to the counseling lobby and called the police, the director of Professional Counseling Associates told me to leave the building and threatened me with arrest if I ever came back. When the officer came, I told him my story, to which he said he could not even go inside and talk to Mrs. Tracy unless a crime had been committed. When I told him that my wife had kidnapped my children, he said I would need to get a lawyer. (As an aside, this format of “confidentiality” is an almost perfect tool for dispensing false teaching: the counselor’s instruction is secretive and not accountable to the church or other biblical authorities while at the same time the counselor and counselee have access to corporate insurance funding and legal power to coerce others to do what they want. It is a benchmark practice of theological liberalism to avoid biblical law and coerce through civil law—this is “Constantinian” Christianity—see 1 Corinthians 6 and early 4th century Church history).
December 2009 to the Present : Phoenix Seminary Refuses to Talk to Me
“But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”
(2 Corinthians 4:2:NKJV)
“…ultimately the effective authority of Scripture to govern our lives is at stake in this controversy. The issue is not whether we say we believe the Bible…but whether we actually obey it when its teachings are unpopular and conflict with the dominant viewpoints in our culture…Here are my suggestions for practical things you can do, either alone or with the help of a few complementarian friends…talk to your pastor…make available a good number of books…talk to current elders…plan a process to inform the church about the need to address the issue, to hold informational meetings and discussions…realize that you may be called divisive, insensitive, unloving…don’t back down at the last minute for the sake of friendship…eventually the pressures of the culture will lead to ever increasing compromises…and thus to increased tensions in the church.
The issue will not just go away.”
(Dr. Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth, p 532-534: Dr. Grudem is a professor at Phoenix Seminary)
While driving a semi-truck over the road in an attempt to save my house and avoid bankruptcy, I twice called the president of Phoenix Seminary, Dr. Darryl DelHousaye in late 2009 . While I hoped to hear a godly Christian response, I was shocked at his
lack of concern and Christian integrity. In our first conversation, Dr. DelHousaye refused to listen to my concerns, to the point of interrupting me at least 6 times. He gave me the standard line that this was a private matter and that the school was not connected to it. He also said that my only course of action was to take legal steps (in direct violation of 1 Corinthians 6 that states that matters should be taken to the saints). He also said that if I continued this course of action (which involved my attempts to talk with my wife and the Tracys), that I would appear abusive and possibly lose my children. Dr. DelHousaye made no attempt then or since to help me or provide a course of action to bring the parties together.
After our 2 short conversations, I had returned to Arizona in January 2010 and stopped driving over the road due to my serious back condition. When I called Phoenix Seminary and asked to talk with and meet with Dr. DelHousaye, I was denied both the phone call and any meeting. This has happened several times since, with each time my call and hope of a meeting rejected by an assistant. This evasive action has also been followed by Dr. Tracy, who has not returned any of my emails or voice mails.
On numerous other occasions during 2010 and 2011, I have sought to call or make appointments at the seminary with two of its professors. The seminary intercepted my calls and my appointments and had an assistant call me and tell me not to call or make appointments concerning this matter. He told me, as did Dr. Hunter later, that Phoenix Seminary is a school and thus not subject to the investigative process of Matthew 18. I was also told that Phoenix Seminary has no connections to Mending the Soul (while this may be true legally, it is not true otherwise. Dr. Tracy uses the seminary as a base of operations to develop and teach his liberal feminist perspective. If fact, on Mending the Soul’s website under its doctrinal statement, it says that its materials are written and reviewed not only by Steven Tracy, but by other professors at Phoenix Seminary. In addition, Mrs. Tracy is an adjunct professor at the Seminary). I have been able to talk privately with the two professors at Phoenix Seminary about this matter, but they do not represent the official “stance” of the Seminary. They have been instructed that they should not talk to me on the seminary property or through the seminary phone lines, but only privately on their own. What childish and ungodly behavior to come from a “Christian” seminary of all places!
In fact, while the Seminary wont talk to me, it has been talking to my wife and indirectly to my wife’s lawyer. A recent email from Dr. Tracy to my wife calls my actions “inappropriate” and “harassing” while he has never talked with me or gotten firsthand information about this case (what information he has is mostly from his wife, who also has never talked with me). Dr. Tracy also forwarded emails from Dr. Hunter to himself, which make judgments about me without any investigation into the matter. Such is the liberal defensiveness of men who refuse to follow a Christian path of honest communication and yet want to make judgments about me and give such ignorant and slanderous information to my wife’s attorney to use against me. (As a sad irony, the seminary has degrees in Christian communication, yet they have repeatedly refused to practice the most basic of Christian teachings on this subject-what hypocrisy!)
I believe that Dr. DelHousaye and others connected with the seminary and Mending the Soul are covering up the liberal and destructive work of Dr. Tracy in order to maintain the teaching and financial benefits that Dr. Tracy and his counseling program gives to the school. (If you look at the school programs and graduate degrees, it is evident that this is the largest program and emphasis that they have at the seminary). The fact is that Dr. Tracy and his “ministry” professes to believe a mild complementarian position on gender, yet the truth of the matter, which I will continue to demonstrate publicly, is that in truth, his work is saturated with so called evangelical feminism, mainstream liberal feminism, and radical secular feminism that is seriously in conflict with the Bible. You can verify this accusation by looking at his writings, his teachings, his counseling practices, the feminists that he associates with, and the materials that he uses and gives to others (please check his website on Mending the Soul). Dr. Tracy is a liberal feminist wolf in complementarian sheep’s clothing and Dr. DelHousaye is playing the compromising moderate trying to keep the truth from coming out.
I have been willing to talk about this matter privately behind closed doors for the sake of the seminary; but these men and others have shown no concern for my family or for the biblical process for dealing with these matters.
As is historically typical of Christian seminaries that have significantly departed from the Christian faith, Phoenix Seminary is trying to hide the destructive consequences of its own making. Now the matter is public and it will increasing continue to be so as public pressure and accountability is brought upon these men and the Seminary to openly and honestly display who they really are.
January 2010: My Wife Files an “Order of Protection” against Me
“Suddenly the partner who was embraced as the savior, the perfect parent who rescued her from all her troubles, is attacked for selfishness, impositions, neglects, and abuses. These seemingly irrational responses cause great confusion and disruption…The fragile incest survivor may experience any assertion of the pro-survivor’s needs as violation, demand, or abuse, even where none was intended or exhibited.” (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors: Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women, p 257)
“My wife is mentally unstable…there is a history of mental illness and abuse in her family…she has failed to disclose to me information about her physical and mental health…she has episodes of bizarre behavior…she displays a ‘cultic’ mentality in her dependence on Mrs. Tracy, and the manner of her secret separation is similar to the way that her mother left her father.”
(My letter to the elders of New Valley Church, May 2010, pp 12-13)
“The wicked flee when no one pursues, But the righteous are bold as a lion…Those who forsake the law praise the wicked, But such as keep the law contend with them.”
(Proverbs 28:1, 4: NKJV)
Having returned to the Phoenix area in January 2010, I continued to try and talk with my wife and the parties involved, using both my own direct appeal and that of several Christian leaders and friends. With the ongoing refusal of my wife, the Tracys, and Phoenix Seminary to follow the basic teachings of the Bible on Christian communication in private, I told my wife and others that I would take the next step, taking the matter to her church elders and if necessary to the broader Christian world. My wife’s response, with the encouragement of Mrs. Tracy, was to have an Order of Protection served against me.
Before the restraining order, I knew the location of my wife’s church but not its name so I drove by one Sunday to get the name so I could look up the church and know who to contact. At the time I didn’t know what knowledge or role the pastors of my wife’s church had. I was simply trying to follow the biblical path of talking to them. I would find out later that they have had a significant part in this matter long before the separation, yet in violation of the clear teachings of the Bible, they had never approached me. (More on this latter).
When I received the Order of Protection, it was missing 2 pages that explained the reasons for the Order. I had to go the Phoenix courthouse to get the missing information. On the 2 pages, my wife stated that I have been committing serious domestic abuse against her throughout the history of our marriage. (In this and other articles, I will talk about a biblical definition of abuse vs. the inflated, hypocritical, and slanderous definitions used by feminists. I will also distinguish abusive, uncontrolled physical conflict from mild physical and verbal actions used in self defense to protect oneself and one’s children from the actions of a mentally unstable, obsessively controlling abusive wife and mother).
My wife filed the Order of Protection stating one of the reasons that I had “talked to her pastors.” In this instance and numerous others, actions that I have taken to follow the Bible are considered to be abusive by my wife. This shows just how far Mrs. Tracy and Mending the Soul have taken my wife away from the Bible; they have replaced the Bible with a feminist agenda that in both belief and practice superceedes and displaces the Bible in authority. (This is why consistent feminists believe that God, the Bible, the apostles, Christian disciples, and the belief in male headship are all inherently abusive).
Other reasons she listed for the Order of Protection include: quit driving job and returned to Arizona (this was due to my back condition); calling step mom and falsely claiming that I was suicidal (she talked about it and showed signs of it); trying to find my address from my step mom (not true); facing foreclosure on home (not sure what this has to do with the Order other than I called her because I was dealing with the home while she still possessed the house documents and wouldn’t even talk with me about them). My wife was upset that my sister and I had gotten a loan modification for the house. In an email to my brother, dated December 22, 2009, she said “The only realistic way a loan modification would work is if they actually contribute to the cost of the mortgage. And that requires that they get jobs! I cannot begin to put onto words how I feel right now.” My wife was concerned about her credit score from selling a house that she abandoned, yet she didn’t care about whether I and my sister’s family had a place to live!
Since the Order of Protection, my wife has not voluntarily spoken one word to me in over 15 months. All communication since January 2010 has had to be through my wife’s lawyer and through our children. While the Order of Protection has lapsed as of January 2011 and was not reinstated, I have not tried to contact my wife directly. I am concerned that any sort of disagreement with what she wants will bring another restraint! Can we really believe that this is “mending” my wife’s soul!
April 2010: My Wife’s Pastors at New Valley Church Refuse to Follow the Bible
(Proverbs 14:12, 15: NKJV)
“He who answers a matter before he hears it. It is folly and shame to him…The first one to plead his cause seems right. Until his neighbor comes and examines him.”
(Proverbs 18: 13, 17: NKJV)
“For many years…to get a divorce, you had to overcome legal hurdles, social disgrace, financial pressures, and church scrutiny…Unfortunately all four have disappeared..no fault divorce…society pays no attention to marriage vows, many women already have an income…Worst of all, instead of fighting compassionately yet firmly for their members’ marriages, most churches today stand silently by as their members head off to divorce court.”
(Ken Sande, Church Discipline, in Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood, p 163-164)
“There is a biblical process that has been largely and intentionally bypassed by my wife…I look to you as my wife’s pastors to bring the biblical process of information finding and evaluation to bear upon our whole family…and evaluate it in light of and under the authority of Scripture.”
(My email to the elders of New Valley Church, March 10, 2010)
Near the end of January 2010, I found out that my wife and daughters were attending New Valley Church in Phoenix. I looked up the church on the Internet in order to contact the leadership of the church and establish a dialog. It took several phone calls, emails, and months to set up a meeting, at which I and a pastor met with the elders of New Valley. (Biblically, it is the responsibility of the pastors of a church to initiate meetings, yet for over a year they intentionally did not do so).
At the meeting, I attempted to provide a summary of my perspective on this matter, yet I was constantly interrupted by Scott Brown, the senior elder and most liberal of the pastors . He did not want to hear my side of the story; he only wanted to hear my answers to my wife’s charges of abuse. When I attempted to answer her charges and show that it was my wife who was truly abusive, he wanted only simple answers with no explanation or negative comments about my wife. He said that I was too preoccupied with who and what was right or wrong. I replied that if actions cannot be understood from the Bible as right or wrong, what biblical or rational basis is there for making decisions; all that is left to decide issues are emotions. I attempted to tell Pastor Brown and the other elders that it was important not judge me by stereotype or feelings but rather through a thorough investigation of the truth as evaluated by the Bible.
At the end of the meeting, I left a letter with the elders giving a summary of my viewpoint. To this day, they have not interacted with me on the letter and my charges of abuse against my wife; they have never followed up on the letter, nor have they pursued church discipline procedures concerning my charges against my wife or her charges against me (if they have had any sort of church procedures, I have never been included. On the contrary, the elders of the church intentionally cut off contact with me, saying that they believed my wife. To this day they have not interviewed me, nor worked through the letter with me. They told me at the meeting that I should “do everything that my wife wanted.” I told them that in good conscience and in following the Bible I could not do many of the things that she demanded of me. Like true liberals without the truth, they have chosen the path of silence. Shortly after the meeting and an exchange of emails, the church elders, in direct violation of the Bible, cut off all communication with me and have refused to talk with me about my own family!
May 2010: I am Forced to File for “Legal Separation”
“My legal action is to secure time with my daughters and to gain access to the family financial concerns that my wife has cut me off from. I tried both before and after the separation to direct the budget and consolidate the debt, but my wife refused…give me a chance to tell my side. I am not trying to be controlling, just trying to save my family, and possibly my marriage. Again, I ask you, If you were in my shoes, what would you do if you believed that your family was being torn apart and you were not allowed to voice your views.”
(My email to my brother, July 2, 2010)
“It is clear from your thinking that you can only think one way…your way!”
(My mother, in an email she sent to my wife in May 2010)
“If you cooperate with the requirements above…Reconciliation will be contingent on the unconditional approval of Dr. Rae and Celestia.”
(My wife’s requirements for reconciliation stated in her June 19, 2009 letter)
For almost a year after my wife’s secretive and deceptive separation, I had attempted in vain to talk to my wife, my wife’s counselor, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church. Since my wife had set an ultimatum of one year with her letter, and I had not been able to have substantial time with my own daughters or see our family’s financial situation, I followed the legal recommendation to file a legal separation. I was also told that if I waited beyond the year that my wife would likely file and I would then be on the defensive as the respondent rather than the petitioner.
The elders of New Valley had given my wife a copy of the letter that I had given them at our meeting. In the letter, I appealed both to my wife and others to work out a biblical process for dialog, mediation, counseling, and the handling of family business. Instead, my wife, my wife’s counselor, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church all continued the path of isolation and silence that they had followed before (this is the typical feminist approach for gaining and holding power). In addition, my wife’s response was to file for divorce and get a lawyer to pursue extensive legal action to obtain sole custody of our daughters and limit the amount of control that she could lose in court.
Unknown to me at the time, on May 10, 2010 my wife filled out a “Danger Assessment.” My wife answered yes or no to 20 questions, giving a yes answer to 9 out of 20. This placed me as a “severe danger.” Questions with a yes answer included: have you left him after living together during the past year, has he avoided being arrested for domestic violence, and does he control most or all of your daily activities. She also answered yes to “do you believe he is capable of killing you?” My wife said made this statement though I have never punched my wife, never thrown her around, never pointed a gun, knife, or any other object at her, never threatened her life verbally, nor have I ever thrown anything at her. So on what basis does she believe that I am capable of killing her? Because her father did sexually and physically abuse her, and threaten her life! This is how out of touch with reality she has become while under the “care” of Mrs Celestia Tracy. To my knowledge, my wife has never filed charges of any kind against her abusive and cruel father, yet she is willing to make such statements against the man who has loved her and caringly been there for her for the past 25 years of marriage.
August 2010: First Hearing
“A disreputable witness scorns justice, And the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity.”
(Proverbs 21:28: NKJV)
“In terms of getting ‘concrete proof,’ I guess you will never have it in the traditional sense other than some sporadic journal excerpts and my testimony.”
(My wife, in answer to my mother about proofs for abusive behavior, in an email exchange, May 2010)
As a result of my filing a legal separation to get time with my children and access to our family finances, a first hearing took place. At this time my wife asked for a divorce while I was opposed to the divorce and wanted the marriage to stay together. I told the judge that my wife has refused to follow due process to talk about our differences, and from a Christian standpoint, go through various biblical steps. My wife was offered counseling for our marriage by the judge which she refused. The judge said she had never had this situation before where one party wanted a divorce and other didn’t. She had to look up Arizona law and find out that the party wanting divorce has the authority over the one who doesn’t.
The judge did not at this time set up parenting time for me, but said that both parties should work out an arrangement. The result was over 4 months of email exchanges during which time there was continual stalling on the part of my wife and her lawyer. I would not get overnight time and the opportunity to take my children to church with me until November 2010. This was the first time that I was able to take my own daughters to church with me since June 2009! (My wife also believes that conservative Christian churches are abusive; therefore in her mind, she thinks that she is protecting our daughters from abusive churches—This is also a part of the teaching of Mending the Soul; they label conservative churches as abusive while liberal churches are places of “healing.” On their website, you can see a list of supporting churches—they are among the most liberal Protestant churches in the Phoenix area!!)
January 2011: Second and Third Hearings
“You need to get the judge to see the real person my wife is. The one that didn’t answer her phone to most people…didn’t answer the kids calls…spending lots of money last year on furniture, dishes, toys…did not pay any of these bills for 2 months plus…not letting you see the bills when collectors were calling…If she had said one word about this to your dad he would have confronted you on it right away…Something doesn’t click in all this. It is all hearsay.”
(My mother, in an email to me, January 6, 2011 just after the hearings)
“Regarding the house—why was it even an issue where the mortgage was paid or not—she left it to you and walked away.”
(My sister, in an email to me, January 6, just after the hearings)
“I have known Maynard Mostrom for nearly 30 years…The accusations of significant domestic abuse are not consistent with my observations…nor have the numerous conversations that we have shared ..revealed to me any kind of threatening or hostile environment.”
(Pastor Dante Antonucci, letter dated January 5 and read before the judge)
“The Petitioner (husband) is currently living approximately thirty miles away from where the minor children attend school. It is logically impractical for the parties to share legal custody…The Respondent (wife) has been the primary caretaker for the children and has, historically made decisions on behalf of the children. The Petitioner (husband) never questioned this “role” division throughout the parties’ marriage or questioned the decisions made by the Respondent (wife) on behalf of the minor children.”
(My wife’s position for Temporary Orders Hearing January 5, 2011: This is but one of the many lies that my wife is saying through her lawyer. It in effect says that my wife has been running our household and that in the past I have not objected! If anything, this statement is an admission that my wife believes that she has the right to be the “head” of our family. As you can see from this document, I have neither in the past nor now made such a concession, as it would be a violation of my role as a biblical husband and father.)
In both the second and third hearings, which occurred during the same week, both my wife and I were pursuing a “sole” custody. I had been advised to do so in order to work out a compromise of “joint” custody and because I believe that my wife is mentally unstable and needs certain measures of accountability to ensure that she does not further deteriorate to the point of possibly hurting herself or our daughters. I have had no knowledge of where they live (though I am a legal guardian and father), nor if my wife is taking any drugs (prescribed or otherwise), nor how she is treating our daughters behind closed doors (I did remember how she mistreated them while I was with them).
Unfortunately, the judge did not allow me to present my witnesses and exhibits while my wife’s lawyer was allowed to do so. The judge would not allow me to talk about my wife’s past or its relationship to the present situation. This was considered to be irrelevant!
My wife took the stand and lied about numerous issues. Not only I but several of my family members present recognized the various lies told by my wife. Yet her emotional pleas and the barrage of materials and accusations from her lawyer, plus my financial situation, appears to have the judge at least partially convinced of her story.
The judge has given my wife temporary “sole custody” of our daughters and has garnished my wages $570.00 a month. This in effect has kept me from getting my own apartment and setting up a situation where I could have “joint custody”. I am now unable to keep up with bills and am forced to go into bankruptcy. This has also in effect given my wife the position to get “permanent” sole custody, so that she can have greater control over our daughters and teach them the worldly, feminist, and liberal form of “Christianity” that she wants to follow.
Despite my expressed concerns about my wife’s counselor, Mrs. Tracy, the judge has allowed my wife to continue her counseling with Mrs. Tracy while I have been ordered to take Anger Management classes.
At the end of these hearings, my wife’s lawyer told the judge that my wife was spending her Christmas bonus ($3000.00) to have me tested by a court ordered psychiatrist. My wife is not willing to follow the Bible and meet with Christian leaders, yet she will use a psychiatrist at great expense to attempt to gain exclusive control of our family and children.
October 2011: Trial for Custody
The trial for custody was originally scheduled for May 5, 2011 but has been continued until October 6. My wife’s lawyer asked for the continuance, based upon the psychologist’s request for more time to process his work.
I am fearful of the outcome of the trial since my wife, Mrs. Tracy, my wife’s lawyer, and the judge do not believe in the supremacy and sufficiency of the Bible. I am concerned that my wife’s skewed judgments, the nature of male stereotyping on the subject of “abuse”, and my inability to afford a lawyer or a place to live due to child support and legal expenses will influence the judge to give my wife a permanent “sole” custody of our children.
Since I do not believe that the truth of this matter will be seen in the courtroom, and because I believe that the Christian Church should have the priority in this matter, I am making this appeal to you, the Christian world, to practice 1 Corinthians 6 and further the biblical process of evaluation before the Christian world. I believe that this is the only way that others will see the truth and take the steps of intervention needed to display moral and spiritual justice in this matter.
A PLEA FOR HELP
“The truth of the patient’s narrative simply doesn’t matter; truth is utterly unimportant to the therapist. We might expect such methods to develop outside the Christian community, but they have run rampant within the church as well. Sadly, this reflects a church where witnesses and truth are treated as unimportant, a church functioning outside of scriptural guidelines.”
(Gary Almy, How Christian Is Christian Counseling, p. 13)
“…a climate has been created in which flagrant nonsense or complete error can be believed, and incontrovertible truth, in turn can be disbelieved—without the question of their being objectively true or false being raised at all. In short, we have created a climate in which a thing’s seeming to be true is often mistaken for its being true.
How have we done this? By stressing and distorting non-rational dimensions of believing. The best-known cases of this are from the field of psychology.”
(Os Guinness, The Last Christian on Earth: Uncover the Enemy’s Plot to Undermine the Church, p. 42)
“Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”
(2 Corinthians 10:5: NKJV)
“For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God…”
(1 Peter 4:17a: NKJV)
As you can see from this brief overview of the last 3 years, my wife’s soul, marriage, and family have not been “mended” but rather “torn apart.” Both in method and message, what my wife has received is not Christian counseling, but rather a worldly and self-centered philosophy that masquerades under the Christian name. In effect, the Tracys’ have torn apart my family, traumatized my children, causing my daughters to grow up in a broken home without the continuous Christian influence of their father. They have also seriously damaged the life and reputation of a trained Christian minister who could otherwise be working full time to serve and minister to other Christians.
“I think she has done a very good job.”
(Mrs. Celestia Tracy, voicemail left on my phone, describing her view of my wife’s actions toward me, November, 2009)
“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness.”
(Isaiah 5:20: NKJV)
“Nevertheless I have a few things against you because you allow that woman Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce…”
(Revelation 2:20: NKJV)
“But He turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men‘…If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
(Matthew 16:23-24: NKJV)
The sad and tragic irony is that the Tracys, Mending the Soul, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church have in fact been systematically mistaken and abusive in their unbiblical and misguided attempts to deal with my marriage and my family. Intentionally putting aside and violating the Bible, the truth, the facts, the process of investigation, and the well being of my children and my life, they have turned my wife’s vices into virtues and assisted her in a path of self destruction.
Mrs. Tracy, my wife has not done a very good job; she has systematically been tearing apart her family according to your false teachings and ungodly instructions! You have in fact progressively taught my wife to avoid the biblical authority and biblical accountability that would otherwise keep her from taking this destructive path. You have taught her to violate her marriage vow and throw away our marriage of over 2 decades without ever attempting to take the most elementary biblical steps for healing our relationship! You have facilitated the destruction of our relationship by substituting biblical teachings with worldly, selfish psychology and disguising this deceitful approach under the banner of “Christianity.” Mrs Tracy, this unbiblical path and its destructive results show that in fact you are a false teacher. The fact that you have done this under the direction and instruction of your husband shows that he is also a false teacher and the primary source of this ungodly and destructive approach to counseling.
Steven and Celestia Tracy, if you were biblical and godly counselors, you would have developed an open process of communication and accountability to the Bible and to numerous Christian leaders associated with both parties. WHAT YOU HAVE DONE IN ISOLATING MY WIFE AND LEADING HER TO TEAR APART HER FAMILY WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AND AVOIDABLE . The fact that you did this without ever talking to me or investigating the truth shows that you are wicked and irresponsible. In addition to needing to ask God for forgiveness for what you have done, you should also call my children and beg their forgiveness for tearing their family apart and subjecting them to the trauma of a broken home!
Because there is real abuse in the world, because my wife was tragically abused by her father throughout her childhood, and because my wife has had a substantial transference of her feeling and thoughts about her father flood upon my life and our relationship, I have been stereotyped as a serious abuser with numerous judgments made about me based entirely upon the traumatized and delusional statements of my wife. In fact, contrary to being an abusive husband and individual, I have given my heart, life, and soul to my wife with great personal sacrifice to help my wife have a better life and a better family. The fact that she now views me as the opposite of this reality shows just how far she has deteriorated under the “ministry” of the Tracys’ and others mentioned. The serious departures from the Bible, the neglect of truth gathering, and the destructive consequences to my family demonstrate that the Tracys’ “theology of abuse” is itself abusive, especially when it intentionally fails to distinguish true abusers from those who have been the objects of mistreatment and abuse, even by their own wives.
In addition to the destructive consequences that have occurred through my wife’s counseling, this liberal process seeks to use virtually all means to protect itself from detection and accountability. I am writing this letter, under threat of civil action and various other threats because I believe that you, the Christian community have a right to know what is going on under the “Christian name” at Mending the Soul, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church. You have the right to know if Christian ministries are substantially violating the Bible and hurting others. I am also writing this series to ask for your help against this ungodly process. You may be asking at this time, “What can I do?”
First, please become informed about what is happening not only to my family but to others through Mending the Soul, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church. Do not take my word for it; I ask that each reader learn the truth about what is going on for yourself. (Note: if you do receive information from Mending the Soul, Phoenix Seminary, or New Valley Church, please remember that these programs have never interviewed me or allowed me to tell my side of the story in a formal setting; nor have any of them refuted any of the accusations that I have made against them or my wife).
Christian Ministries in the Phoenix Area
and Those Directly Involved in Hurting My Family
Mending the Soul: Steven and Celestia Tracy
Phoenix Seminary: Dr. Tracy and Dr. DelHousaye
New Valley Church: Scott Brown and elders
(Contact information can be found on their Websites)
Second, please hold these people and their ministries accountable to the Bible and to you, the Christian community. Make phone calls, send emails, have conversations about this matter with yourselves, various Christian leaders, and other Christians that are a part of these ministries. Let Mending the Soul, Phoenix Seminary, and New Valley Church know that refusing to follow the Bible’s clear teachings about open and truthful communication and refusing to stop false and harmful instruction will not be tolerated nor supported.
“the second ally of egalitarianism is a large group of Christian leaders who believe that the Bible teaches a complementarian position but who lack courage to teach about it or take a stand in favor of it.”
(Dr. Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth, p 530)
If you are a complementarian and believe in the importance of biblical truth, I strongly urge you to take a stand with me on this issue. Because of the truth at stake, and the importance of my family and other families that have been hurt by these “ministries” I am personally going to make this a front page issue within the Phoenix area and within the Christian world. I will continue to press this matter against all opposition, ecclesiastical and legal, and publicly expose to both Christians and the world over the Internet this entire situation. If you are looking for a place to take a stand and make a difference on this issue, you have found one. Please make your own investigations, contact me, and lets make a true difference for God and His people. If you are a “nouthetic” counselor, you know what is at stake. This is a classic case “for” nouthetic counseling and “against” eclectic, feminist counseling. Please help.
“Their breathless impatience with injustice may strike us as hysteria. We ourselves witness continually acts of injustice, manifestations of hypocrisy, falsehood, outrage, misery, but we rarely grow indignant or overly excited.”
(Abraham Herschel, The Prophets, p 4)
Third, please consider ways that you might be able to help me recover my family and bring to light the serious false teaching and destructive consequences that are a significant part of these groups. I am in serious need of legal help to represent me in court and provide advise on how to regain custody of my children. In addition, I am pleading with you to assist me in communicating this information to various individuals and Christian leaders that can take action to bring Christian truth and accountability to this matter. Above all, please pray that God and his truth would be victorious against the false teaching that is spreading through Dr. Tracy and those who work with him.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church,
and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…so husbands ought to love their own wives..”
(Ephesians 5:25-26, 28a : NKJV)
“I expect a true willingness to study the Bible together with me and with others on this matter and a willingness to follow the Bible over any other source of information. Pious words and the pretense of godliness cannot be a substitute for active and public obedience to God’s Word, to me as her husband, and to others as fellow-Christians. If my wife is willing to follow the biblical path, I will try to work things out with her. During this whole situation, all I have asked is to meet with my wife with an open Bible and several Christians present for accountability. my wife has continued to refuse this biblical and reasonable path.”
(My letter to my wife’s elders, May 2010, p 16)
I have not written this letter because I hate my wife or want to embarrass her, but because I love her and my children enough to do what biblically needs to be done to help them. A biblical husband gives his life for his wife. Though not without fault or sin, I can honestly say that I have lived for my wife these past 25 years, and at great cost. I have given these many years of service to my wife and due primarily to her sins and her struggles to cope with her childhood abuse, I now approach our 25th anniversary without my wife, without my children for most of the time, without my house, without my career in full-time Christian service, with a serious back problem, with a ruined credit score, and a damaged reputation. Yet I want the world to know that I have throughout all these years and during our separation up to this moment, still loved my wife and want what is biblical and best for her and our family. I am still willing to reconcile with my wife, but it can only happen on biblical terms. Enslavement to my wife’s obsessive control and unbiblical direction, and following the ungodly feminist course of action stipulated by a liberal psychologist (Celestia Tracy) and a liberal pastor (Scott Brown) is directly contrary to the biblical path of marriage and reconciliation and would be a betrayal of my relationship to God and His Word.
Additional articles, my doctoral dissertation, a full length critique of Dr. Tracy’s liberal and ungodly book, “Mending the Soul”, and various other materials will be sent out and posted on this website in the near future. If you are interested in contacting me, please send emails to email@example.com. Thank you for your time, consideration, prayers, and support.
“There is an evil which most of us condone and are even guilty of: indifference to evil. We remain neutral, impartial, and not easily moved by the wrongs done unto other people. Indifference to evil is more insidious than evil itself; it is universal, more contagious, more dangerous. A silent justification, it makes possible an evil erupting as an exception becoming the rule and being in turn accepted.”
(Abraham Heschel, The Prophets, p 64)
“The Church must recover her confidence in the spiritual resources God provides..I am convinced that far more is at stake than the average Christian realizes. If evangelicals do not rediscover the supreme discerner and mender of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Bible)..we will lose our testimony to the world, and the Church itself will die.”
“THESE MATTERS ARE THAT CRITICAL.”
(John MacArthur, Rediscovering Biblical Counseling, p 20)